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melverie · 2 days ago
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Last post on the entire date ticket thing and then I will forever shut up about it, but I feel like most people arguing in favor of the price tag are just
.missing the point on why people are so angry about the date ticket being $30
I think the one thing we can all agree on right from the get go is that everyone in the staff deserve to and should be compensated fairly for their work. And that obviously includes certain features and items having to cost actual money considering the game itself is free
But the thing is, that $30 price tag doesn't just exist in a vacuum
First off, we can all agree that charging something like $3 would have made the ticket sell far better, right? Several people have already pointed out that they can buy a week's worth of groceries with $30 and depending on how much you earn, the date ticket isn't exactly something anyone can just buy on a whim. Again, $3 would have been far more affordable for most people, and I'm sure many more people (myself included) would have been far more willing to spend $3 just to see what the date ticket is like, and maybe also buy the tickets of multiple other characters. But $30 for a single date ticket is a luxury a lot of people just cannot afford, or would rather put into something else. Even if they lowered the price, they'd surely break even and make profit with how many players there are
And judging by its contents, I think it's fair to say that the date itself is not worth $30. And I feel like Solmare themselves know this because why else would they have bundled it with 300 DP? The only reason is to justify this price tag because "look at how much DP we're getting with it tho!!" when that's not the point. It doesn't matter whether the DP are included, because there is a lack of choice here. We have other options to earn and buy DP, but we don't have a choice when it comes to the date ticket itself. Either you pay $30, or you miss out on a feature that many of us have wanted for a while now. And since it's the DP raising the price tag,what you are essentially paying for is 300 DP with a date ticket as your purchase bonus, even though it should be the other way round
And honestly? Considering the price, the only two times it would make sense to buy this bundle is if you were already considering buying DP anyway, or if you are financially well enough off that the current price doesn't matter to you. You won't convince most casual spenders, and you most definitely will not convince a f2p player to pay for this feature
The other thing is that we had no idea what the date ticket actually entailed because we weren't given any information on it. Thanks to people in the community buying and reviewing this feature for others we now know that the date consists of one phone call, a ~10 minute long, partially voiced date story-line and a Majolish background. Except, those are things that Solmare themselves should have told us right as they announced this feature, ESPECIALLY considering the price point. If you don't, you can't complain if people are accusing your company of trying to rip its player base off and of being greedier than the Avatar of Greed himself. But also, that's the thing!
We shouldn't have people in the fandom be the ones to go out of their way to give us basic info on new features, or to even explain certain business decisions in the first place. That's the company's job. Yes, certain explanations should be a given (such as microtransactions existing so that the staff can be paid the money they obviously deserve), but there are other things that should have been explained by Solmare themselves
Open communication with the player base is the key phrase here, and imo Solmare has been doing worse and worse on that front as of late, resulting in several unexplained choices that just seem questionable at best and scummy at worst, as well as a player base that grows more and more disgruntled by the day. And that frustration within the player base shows in the amount of people dropping the game, as well as in the amount of money it's making
People are willing to put their time and money into something they deem a good, quality product with a justified price considering the content. If your player base isn't putting in the money you are expecting, then maybe you should listen to their feedback and re-examine your product instead of overcharging a feature because "look at this thing you're getting extra that no one asked to be included in the bundle in the first place"
Literally part of the reason LaDS has grown to be so successful in such a short amount of time is because they keep making adjustments based on player feedback, even on some minor things. I mean they literally pushed out an update to correct the color of one of the character's tongue in the newest card because people were complaining, like hello!! Imagine Solmare listening to complains as minor as this
Anyway, whether intentional or not, this entire thing just feels scummy, and that's the problem. The choice we have is either "pay 30 bucks per character or miss out on this feature entirely", the price is artificially inflated with the inclusion of DP that we have other ways of getting, romance is slowly fazed out of the story only to now be put behind a heft paywall, we weren't told what we are even paying for exactly in the first place, and there has been a severe lack of proper communication from Solmare that have soured the relationship to the game's fanbase and, most importantly in this context, their customers
No, companies aren't our friends. Yes, they need to make money. Yes, they should pay their employees fairly. And no, we as consumers shouldn't expect nor are we entitled to everything about the game being free because again, the people working on this game deserve to get paid fairly for all the work they put into it
However, people are still allowed to be critical of a company and its decisions, especially when they feel like they are getting ripped off. The 300 DP might soften the blow, but that doesn't stop everything that has happened before from being a slap in the face. That's why people are pissed right now, and honestly it's been a long time coming
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bomberqueen17 · 16 days ago
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the gay dolphins are too powerful
yesterday i was facing the facts that i do need to actually work out the technical mcguffins in this novel. like, i have some vague notion that there's a problem with the radio network because of solar flares and our heroes are going to... somehow... fix it. idk.
plot and worldbuilding wittering behind the cut
this was the main plot in the solarpunk mammoths novel too, and i had a vague notion that a problem on such a global scale as that would need to like. it would need to be solved by more than one person. and so my nebulous notion is that possibly several sets of characters could work on it in these loosely-connected novels where really i'm just exploring different ecosystems.
idk i just-- y'all know about the Turkey City Lexicon right? I got it as a hand-out in college creative writing class and of course it reshaped my brain, but. one of the Tropes To Beware they've got is the Cozy Catastrophe, which is startlingly prevalent and once you see it you can't unsee-- "the world is ending! all of humanity will die! unless... Jeff and Suzy, you're our only hope!" and our two everyman protagonists somehow are the only resources the entire world can muster and honestly the entire world seems to consist of one American city block with about three hundred people in it at most. Hm.
so i was like yah this catastrophe is way too cozy.
meanwhile i forget how it came up but @sonnetsandsinging, helpfully spitballing, said something about space whales and i was like
OMG in a world with genetically-engineered mammoths with radio collars that translate their brain waves to allow them to speak in human language it is ABSURD that they are the only species of animal that has been given this treatment
so like. what other animals do we try to talk to all the time besides elephants?
DOLPHINS
so now this world has genetically-engineered dolphins with brainwaves-to-speech dorsal fin attachments. like duh of course it does. i can't believe I hadn't thought of that.
there should be other animals too but i can't decide which ones, currently taking submissions. What Else Should Slightly-Disconcertingly Speak.
(My criteria: should be an animal intelligent enough to have successful communication with humans already, something relatively long-lived, something that couldn't use sign language or other methods already. My concept, which is not scientific really, is that it's been well-studied that while many animals have complex communication systems, humans are the only ones whose brains are structured specifically for language, so the Magic Fictional Science here is that they've had that ability genetically-engineered in, but of course the physical production of human-intelligible language is beyond the physical structure of most animals, hence the brainwave-interface collars. which btw could also be used on profoundly disabled humans, and that might be a plot point at some point; i do have some disabled characters in this story. I know I researched those like, communication board things that nonverbal humans can use and I settled on Magical Radio-Networked Interfaces that speak out loud instead for the simple expedient of streamlining things because like how is a mammoth going to carry a communication board around that it can like get out and point at. how is a dolphin going to carry anything. so, this is just where I ended up.)
(I was thinking parrots but then parrots wouldn't need the collar because they can actually make human-speech noises on their own. so that's a fun variation. maybe in this world african grey parrots actually just talk.)
Anyway back when I first started the solarpunk mammoths novel I researched Asian elephants a lot and studied their social structures and read up on their physical abilities etc., so in between trying to find out how radio waves and semiconductors work (i get the radio waves thing & think i have my mcguffin sorted out but semiconductors made my eyes glaze over and then begin weeping so i gave up) (also supercapacitors i don't understand u sorry bye) (do i know any electronics engineers who want to explain this in normal languages? shit i do know a chemical engineer maybe she knows. heck) ... ok i wandered away from this post to text her and then forgot i was making it. i did not get a lot of sleep last night the amphetamines are not being kind this go-round but i must continue the experiment. uhhhhh where was i
GAY DOLPHINS
too powerful
Yeah so I started researching dolphins, because if I'm going to have named-and-speaking dolphin characters, I need to know a little bit about how they work.
Now I have a slight head-start on this, just as I did on mammoths. Mammoths, I've been obsessed with since I was a toddler. But dolphins. For a while I used to go to SCA camping events and there was this guy who used to be a Navy diver and then worked for Sea World and he. well he was really good at telling stories, was his deal. And he had Seen Some Shit, and some of that shit was about interacting with dolphins. And the thing about dolphins is that. Well, they're violent little chaos gremlins, and just in the course of going about their normal lives, one of the things they do to interact with the world is, well. they have sex with things.
when they do this to people it is generally not a positive experience for the person. but. so i knew that going in. and most of the information on the internet about dolphins is really like. earnest and loving and whatever, which is great. but the thing is that dolphins are chaos gremlins who will fuck anything they can't eat, eat anything they can't fuck, or sometimes do both to the same unfortunate object if it proves to be possible.
what i'm saying is, these are going to be really entertaining characters to work with. because elephants, conversely, do not have recreational sex. they do a lot of things, but they just don't really do that. so dolphins are like. inverse-elephants, culturally.
Elephants also tend to have a strong matriarch, strong bonds between females, and then the males tend to be largely solitary, but will congregate more loosely, often around an older male who will teach them manners. (A well-mannered bull is MUCH more likely to be allowed to mate with desirable females, who have little patience with male foibles.)
Dolphins have looser gender roles; on the whole, the females tend to loosely congregate, and pregnant females usually go back to their mother's pod to birth and raise young, not dissimilar to elephants, but the males--
male dolphins very, very frequently will pair-bond. Two males of similar age-- adult males have very little to do with juveniles of either sex, generally-- will pair-bond and will be inseparable for the rest of their lives. If one of them dies, the other will mourn-- mourning behavior is well-documented in dolphins-- and then will seek to pair off with another adult male, because male dolphins prefer to work in pairs, for survival and companionship. (Dolphin "pods" are also more loosely-organized than elephant herds; dolphins will have a couple of core companions, but then will freely associate and disassociate with other individuals and groups over short periods of time without much fuss, depending on the situation.)
The pair-bonded males are the ones who in the wild do the behavior you see in shows, where they do like synchronized jumps and very-close fast-precise swimming and such, which in the wild are apparently courtship or threat displays-- i.e. "look how tight we are, you can't fight us" or, alternately, "isn't that hot" because
yes that's often how they court females. The pair will corral a desirable female and herd her away from other dolphins so they can both mate with her, and keep her from mating with anybody else.
(other females have been observed collaborating to free a corralled female who did not want this to happen, so it's not quite as rapey as it sounds. though, i mean. dolphins. what can you do.)
anyway dolphin threesomes are canon. but that derailed the rest of my night and i was unable to concentrate on anything else because the gay-- I should say really bisexual dolphins are too powerful.
so anyway i wrote a test scene with a dolphin character, and i had my main character take his wife and baby down to the jetty to introduce them to his dolphin pals, and a bonded male pair he'd known for years showed up and immediately tried to steal the wife, and then expressed shock that he didn't have his male best friend with him, because in their experience breeding was THEE most important time to have your buddy with you. He explains that his buddy is off on a long-term work assignment, and they're like hmph next time you breed you MUST include him, it is so much easier trust us. and the wife is like hmmmmm!
henceforth i will refer to m/m/f threesomes as "dolphin style" you're welcome
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mutalune · 5 months ago
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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kavehater · 3 months ago
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Every time my mum throws yet another hissy fit although I can understand she’s being stupid and I let her yap to her hearts content cause she can never quit complaining, for some reason I’m so mildly bothered that the irritation makes me angry at every other thing.
For example : the fact that so and so hasn’t responded in 51 years, fifty more people haven’t even given so much as a single darn to ask why I haven’t replied yet or use those two brain cells of theirs currently fighting for third place to realise huh, maybe she’s going through a hard time ! Maybe you know like a decent fucking human being I could leave her a little note saying she can answer whenever she feels fit enough to do so but that I care for her, and the fact that I am irate by how care and compassion is offered on a silver platter to so many yet for me I have to beg and do the most absurd and pathetic displays to achieve even the slightest speck of kindness, and if I DONT do all of that in the one in a trillion possibility of me receiving kindness for free it makes me so disgusted and afraid because why the fuck would you do that, in fact why the fuck would anyone even do that even if I gave them my whole heart and soul anyways. All I am is less than dirt by way of reason given how I have been treated, and although I’m unsure as to why I am and that I can never fully understand the reason for why I’m not worth a single thing, and why I am worthless, i understand that that’s how the world works and I ought to adapt to my role and take it because nobody will stop for me
#‘u guys have seen how fast life can be taken from you’ well I hope it comes faster bc I have been praying for the end to come#for years yet nothing#I have not only been let down by this world#but I have been let down by God so many times it’s genuinely baffling#why can’t He just kill me already#I don’t even care anymore about the method#I don’t even care if it’s the most excruciatingly painful thing#if I get ripped in half or have my organs harvested or tortured for however many days#I think I just need to go and i need to go NOW.#practically the only real consistent wish I’ve had in my life is that I am to be something important to others#someone irreplaceable#but I am not even noticed much less replaced#and how a girl could yap on about her insecurity abt her bangs and within an hour she gets heaps of comments#yet for me ? when I write odes to death every other Tuesday it’s whoopsie who gives a fuck about her I hope she dies#that’s precisely how it looks like to me#I think everyone does wish death upon me for the simple fact that nobody asks#nobody cares and nobody tries to help#actions speak louder than words and everyone’s actions are very clear to me#clearly someone throwing a pity party over themselves for fucking bangs is definitely a cause for concern yes yes ! worthy of twenty notes#within the span of a single hour đŸ„șđŸ„șđŸ„ș but of course I don’t deserve shit so that’s why nobody gaf đŸ™‚â€â†•ïž#dora daily#my only request is for all to be blunt and clear that I am worthless in their eyes.at least my mum reminds me often.why can’t yall do the#same. at least she is honest and not mincing her words. listen I can handle much more than anyone thinks I’m not as sensitive as everyone#makes me out to be. so freaking tell me how horrible I am tell me that I am a chore to speak to that I am a burden and weigh u all down#and that I am some infinitely unimaginable list of negative attributes and that’s all I’ll ever amount to because I would send my dearest#thanks for you being so brave and saying it to my face. rather than being a coward and a fool for hiding behind flowery words and meaningles#nothings uttered just for filler. newsflash I can read intents and in between the lines well but I am not a mind reader nor does anything#imply that I can read minds. yes I can discern intents and the smallest signals but I CANNOT read minds#why you won’t catch me hold hope that anything I make will get hype so I won’t post it on this platform and if I do I won’t tag it#and why do people always get fed up or think I’m lying or smth when I insist I’m sick like wtf. or they act like I’m lying by embodying the
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multimilfs · 1 month ago
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Agatha Harkness x Fem!Reader x Rio Vidal: The Prize
Summary: Agatha has been fighting to reclaim her prize from Rio for a long time.
AO3
Included: dark themes, lesbian drama & yearning, near-death experiences, smut; biting, orgasm denial, praise kink, degradation, s&m, blood, fingering, cunnilingus, use of pet names, begging
Words: 9.7k
Tag List: @multifandomfix @ghostsunderstoodmysoul @escapetodreamworld @white--lillies @imtrashinflames
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Glowing hands press over the seeping wound, magic swirling around them, diving inside. There’s no satisfaction of watching the flesh knit itself back together. Instead, your magic drifts right back out like smoke. 
Oh Goddess. 
“Do take your time.” Agatha snaps, voice strained, “I have absolutely no plans.” 
Five types of poison are immune to tangible magic. You know antidotes for three. Staring hard at the wound, you look for the blackened edges consistent with Nightrot, finding the flesh as red and irritated as to be expected. Is it swelling or screaming that goes with Alewife’s Revenge? A glance up at her face finds it normal. Her lips are pursed. 
Your hands shake, one hovering over the open wound in her middle, the other clutching your head. Remembering has never mattered more so why is your mind empty? Pieces of information slip through your fingers like sand. Dozens of cadavers, hundreds of hours of study; useless. 
Unable to rely on your memory, you scramble across the floor for the dagger that’d flown from the wall. The little light coming from the boarded windows prompts the metal to glint. The edge of the blade is sticky with blood, beneath it a metallic sheen that can only be a witches poison. You hold it up to the slant of light to see the color. 
“Are you out of your mind? Heal me!” 
You drop the dagger the second the poison glints purple. You slap your hand over your mouth, panic beginning to course through your veins; the body’s own special brand of poison. 
How are you going to tell her?
“I’m trying!” You snap, voice breaking. 
It’s a cruel joke that the poison should be so well matched to the witch bearing its effects. You stare at the edge as it rocks from being dropped, your stomach turning when the color doesn’t change. If only you could be wrong this once. 
Were you a lesser witch, you’d curl in a little ball and quail under the weight of your failures. The idea is seductive. Yet, you turn to Agatha where she lies, pale and sweating on the floorboards. The pallor of her skin makes you whimper. 
“Agatha,” You start, your voice holding just enough, “it’s Saura’s Dread.” 
Things click into place behind her eyes despite the glazed-over look to them. She fights to find a way out of this, but you know well that the reality cannot be avoided. 
“Give it to me. You’re wrong.” 
“I know poisons better than most.” You hand the dagger over anyway. 
“That’s not saying much.” 
The comment stings, but you let it slide off you. You cannot give into petty squabbles now. With so little time to find a solution, you have to focus. 
She stares hard at the blade as if willing it to change. 
“Brew the antidote.” 
“I can’t.” You whisper. 
There’s a flicker of something in her gaze that looks suspiciously like rage. Your own internal fire leaps to meet it; of all the emotions to look upon you with—rage? As if this is your fault? You’re not the one that dragged her into this old cabin, intent on sifting through the contents. 
It’s not your fault. You know that as the truth. Yet, shame floods you. 
“You’re a healer.” Agatha spits, “What good are you if you don’t know the antidote?” 
“Someone didn’t let me stay with my coven long enough to learn it!” 
“The next time someone tries to keep you from me, I’ll let them.” 
The fire in your chest ebbs. An old argument at an inconvenient time. There will be no rough makeup sex following this argument, no unspoken apologies in Agatha’s kisses. All the time, all the bodies; they cannot be for nothing. They mean too much. 
Fleetingly, you feel pity for your old coven. In their minds they had attempted to do the right thing. Keeping you from Agatha must have seemed reasonable. But you remember how many bodies they made, how pleased it made Her. 
Saura’s Dread takes its victim within six hours. This, you know confidently. The demise is slow and painful, a poison intended for torture. You can’t stand to see Agatha in this kind of pain. You’re not ready for her to be just another body.
“I’m calling Her.” You say. 
“No.” Agatha counters, “She’ll never let me live it down.” 
“You won’t live down anything if you’re dead, Agatha.” 
“I won’t die.” 
She’s an idiot. 
Magic flowing into your fingertips, you trace familiar symbols on the floor. They glow bright and then dim as they wait. Around your neck sits an old, jagged bone, tied by a thread; you use the end of said bone to split your palm and drip blood over the symbols. 
Agatha’s mouth is moving, but you don’t listen. You mutter the incantation in latin under your breath. The words—old and comforting—curl your tongue in ways that you’ve only known between two pairs of legs. You end the incantation with the key that gets you around the waiting list; Her name, Her true name. 
There’s a blinding flash of light and a puff of fog, but the symbols contain it. You catch the glint of white teeth. 
“You rang?” 
Rio smiles, clad in darkness and bone and that same beauty that always stops you in your tracks. Upon seeing her, you breathe easier.
“We need your help.” 
“You wouldn’t have called so formally if it was quality time you wanted.” Amusement dances in her eyes. 
She eyes the symbols on the floor. They no longer glow, but still they contain her. She scuffs a foot along them. 
You smudge the symbols and the containment drops. Stepping over the magic as it sinks down into the earth, she catches you by the waist and devours you; lips and teeth and tongue dominating your own, leaving you helpless to do anything but give in. And you’re all too willing to do so. 
When she pulls back, you’re breathless. Somewhere in the fray your lip has begun to bleed. Rio soothes her tongue over the wound and you feel it close. 
“Hand.” 
You offer the demanded appendage, palm up. She places a kiss in the center and licks the blood from her lips. 
Rio turns her head to where Agatha has dragged herself to sit against the wall. The rise and fall of her chest is slow, but there. She glares at the two of you. You flush while Rio grins. 
“Hi, sweetheart. You look like shit.” Rio says, delighted. 
“A side effect.” Agatha grits out, “The same can’t be said for you.” 
Rio tilts her head back and laughs. It’s deep and rich and fills you with thoughts that are not appropriate for this situation. The hand on your waist squeezes as if she knows. Then, she releases you. 
She crosses to crouch before Agatha, devious smile shifting to something softer. One of her hands works through a lock of Agatha’s hair, brushing it out of her face. 
“What did you get yourself into?” 
Agatha’s eyes drop to Rio’s lips, but she stays silent. 
“Saura’s Dread.” You choke out, shame winding itself tight inside you, “I don’t—I can’t brew the antidote.” 
You should have done more to push off Agatha’s agenda; just so you would have finished your research. A few extra days wouldn’t have hurt. They would’ve infuriated Agatha—and Rio by extension—but then you would know the solution instead of watching her slowly wither away. 
Rio doesn’t look away from Agatha, but you know the soothing tone is for you, “It’s okay.” 
Something passes between the two that you miss. One moment, Rio holds Agatha’s face in her hand, while Agatha—hesitantly—leans into the contact. The next Rio is standing between the two of you, toying with her knife, all business. 
You feel a chill pass through you at the unfamiliar territory; staring into Rio’s eyes and finding the affection buried away. It stings more than knowing how you’ve failed. 
“You’re asking me for life in a bottle.” Rio says, grinning, “What do I get in return?”
Short of knowing that Rio would fix it should you ask, you find yourself shamefully bereft of anything with value. You search the space for anything to bargain with. Agatha’s eyes should be looking at you with knowing, but her gaze doesn’t leave Rio. 
When Agatha tilts her head and grins, turning on the bedroom eyes, you pause. 
“What you’ve wanted for years.” Agatha says, “Brew me a little potion and you can have her all to yourself.” 
Rio’s brows shoot sky high. You tilt your head, then freeze. It’s you. Agatha’s bargaining you.
There should be a sweetness in knowing you’re the only thing of value she has to offer, yet the taste is sour on your tongue. The words feel like a punishment, a reprimand—and not the kind you’ve begged at her feet for. That awful part of you would rather Agatha die than ever willingly give you up and Rio eyes you as if she knows it. Does it please her to know how they’ve twisted you?
One mistake, you think bitterly, and Agatha throws in the towel. Despite all the near-death experiences you’ve endured at her side. Despite the years you’ve spent together. You never expected a punishment of this proportion. 
You bite your tongue. At your sides, your fists clench and unclench. They glow with the anger you can’t keep hidden. 
Pride rears its unhelpful head and you speak before you can stop to think, “My life for Agatha’s.” 
Rio’s full attention is on you, then. Her eyes are bright. 
You speak directly to her, “I’m bound to you and The Road until such time as Agatha traverses it to collect me.” 
Had you not been so focused on Rio, you would have noticed Agatha flinch at your suggestion. Her wide, glassy eyes stare at you. You do not give her the satisfaction of your attention. If she is going to be cruel, so can you. 
Your terms are a challenge; and Agatha doesn’t turn down a challenge. 
Her devious, wicked mask clicks back into place. Rio’s expression is pensive. Despite the poison working through her system, Agatha almost looks as powerful as her best day. 
“You’d let me steal her away, O Death?” Agatha teases. 
The comment is salt in your open wound. You glare, wishing more than anything that you could wrap your hands around her pretty neck and squeeze. You want her not only to beg—but to apologize. 
But Rio’s eyes haven’t left you for a second. 
“Alright, sweetheart.” Rio says, “Your life, bound to mine, until Agatha comes to get you.” 
In it you understand the desire you both share; to have Agatha, one way or another. You wonder if the desire for possession is your own or something you’ve learned from her. 
From her pocket comes a small glass vial. She tosses it to Agatha, who only barely catches it. She cradles it like something precious. 
“Drink up.” Rio orders. 
Then Rio is there, arm around your waist, holding all your pieces together. You lean into her comfort as color returns to Agatha’s cheeks. 
“Te veo.” 
--
1754
“She waits for you.”
Agatha whips around, purple crackling at her fingertips. At the edge of the clearing, Rio leans her weight against a gnarled tree, eyeing the withered husks of once-witches in the grass with interest. She looks almost predatory. 
“Does she?” 
Rio nods, eyes shifting to Agatha, “Like a puppy. It’s almost pathetic.” 
It is pathetic, is what she should say. Time and affection have curbed her tongue on this small thing at least. On you. Agatha’s smile is knowing. 
Rio has pulled her punches toward you since the beginning. Agatha’s never minded. It’s almost sweet watching the oldest force in the multiverse tiptoe around a witch barely into her second century. Is it that craving for ancient knowledge in your veins that renders Rio down, or is it simply your pretty face? 
Does it matter? 
“I don’t have what I need yet.” Agatha rolls her eyes, “Witches these days don’t have the power they used to.” 
“Or maybe you’re leveling the population before they have time to strengthen.” Rio raises a brow. 
Agatha thinks, deliberately dramatic, then shrugs, “No, that’s not it.” 
With a shake of her head, Rio steps out from the treeline, and closes the distance across the clearing. Agatha watches every step with dark eyes. The stench of death and magic sends a chill down Rio’s spine; there’s nothing more delicious than a life snuffed out. 
The wind slows in the trees as if sensing her. Birds silence their sweet tunes. There is frantic rustling in the trees somewhere as creatures do all they can to get away. 
Yet Agatha stands, waiting, and allows Death to pull her into her embrace. 
One of Rio’s great loves is watching skin split so she can lap up the blood at her own pace. Yet, when her hands settle on Agatha’s hips, they’re gentle. She doesn’t open wounds with her teeth. Rather, she moves her lips over Agatha’s until she can’t breathe. Agatha is wary when she pulls back. 
Rio shrugs, “A message from her.” 
“I see. Forgiven me, has she?” A slow, taunting grin, “Anything from you?” 
“Have you earned it?” 
“These bodies didn’t make themselves.”
A tilt of her head, as if considering, “Maybe you’ve earned something small, then.” 
And they meet in a clash of lips and teeth. Rio’s hands are everywhere, leaving behind deep claw marks that make Agatha moan into her mouth. Agatha’s own nails pierce through cloth and skin at her hips but draw no blood. She tries to push Rio backward toward one of the trees, she just needs a little leverage and Rio’s thigh to—
Rio pulls back. She grins something wicked at the flash of Agatha’s purple.
“Something small.”
Agatha makes a face, batting her lashes. Rio doesn’t give in. 
“You’re awful.”
“You love it.” Rio says, then her face takes on something more serious, “Don’t keep her waiting, Agatha.”
Then she’s gone as if she was never there; the only evidence being the bleeding marks on her skin. Agatha stares at where she stood for a long time before moving on.
--
1801
The Road changes, you’ve seen, as the covens come along. Small cottages, ancient ruins—the most interesting was an old system of catacombs, though it lacked the remains you’d been intent on studying.
Your favorite, though, is the bower, absent of any illusions or spells.
Beneath a canopy of purple leaves upon a seat of grass, you watch the events unfold from afar. An old curved trunk sits at your back keeping you upright. The animals—lost familiars, mostly—wander up to you here, nibbling at fallen leaves and taking up residence in your lap.
From outside it could be mistaken for a simple tree. Yet, beneath it, the world is at your fingertips. The position of your place presents the underside of millions of glowing leaves to your view; lives, Rio said, witch and non-witch alike.
You find the one you love best among the foliage. You trace your finger down the purple veins, hoping she feels you, thinks of you, misses you. The veins seem to glow a little brighter at your touch.
Rio doesn’t enjoy you toying with them; worried a wrong move on your part will take a life too soon, upsetting the greater balance she’s beholden to. But she taught you how to handle Agatha’s. Trace, never prod. Caress, but never pluck.
A black cat settles in your lap and you sit straighter.
Soothing a hand down her back, she purrs. Her little body presses against your stomach and basks in your warmth.
“You really are too predictable.” Rio says.
She stands a few feet away, clad in dirt and muck, yet still beautiful. Always beautiful.
“I like it here. It’s comforting.”
“You like being close to Agatha.” She corrects.
The leaf in question glows brighter as if sensing the mention. You trace a finger along the edge, willing all your love into it.
“This is all I have of her.” You admit.
Something like softness creeps into Rio’s face. As soon as it appears, it recedes. She joins you under the canopy. The cat in your lap startles and leaps from your lap, darting back into the underbrush.
You had never thought to secure some token of Agatha’s, then. Now, with nothing of her’s to hold close, you settle for her life-line, begging it to tell you her whereabouts and if she’s safe; it is always silent. Rio is, too. She doesn’t mention much when you ask, though you know she knows the actions of every life tied to her.
The Road is a wonderful home. Rio is an attentive partner. But you ache, still, for the other set of hands you knew; those who were predictable in their firmness, balancing the sudden changes of Rio’s own.
“You’re crying.” Rio says.
Her face is dark, but fury lingers around the edges. Something like worry flutters in and out of her eyes. You have nothing to say, so you only nod.
Then you’re in her lap. Rio’s bunching up your dress to your waist, canines embedded in your neck. Her nails dig into your hips and the blood warms you. You whimper.
Lips kiss down your neck while a hand hovers between your legs. You bear down, desperate for any friction to dull the ache. And she gives it to you. Her hand is exactly where you want it, fingers rubbing and pressing, and you grind your hips hard, harder until you’re right there.
And then her hand is gone.
You whine. Your hips move of their own volition, searching for that pressure to send you right over the edge. Rio’s lips catch your own in a bruising kiss and you whimper into her mouth.
Needy, desperate, you can almost hear her say.
But when she pulls away and digs her nails in harder, she whispers, “Cry for me, sweetheart.”
She alternates between giving you what you crave and rescinding it for hours. You whimper, moan, and beg. She laughs and repeats herself—cry for me. You lose count of how many almost-orgasms tighten your body just to go unfulfilled. You do cry. You sob and she’s there, tongue licking up your tears and knuckle deep inside you, thumbing over your clit until you have what you want.
You’re not sure how long you lay there, after, crying against her.
--
1833
Rio’s arm is warm where you’re wrapped around it. She leads you through the winding stone streets, around grand buildings with stained-glass windows. Some of the scenes depicted in the glass are beautiful, simple; but the majority are Catholic in nature, dripping with sadness and guilt. You shake your head.
Passersby nod or tilt their hats, but don’t seem to see you. Their eyes go especially glassy when they look at Rio.
Whereas you’re clad in a dress of rich layered fabric, Rio has opted for more masculine attire. The low heels of her dress shoes click upon the stone. The unwrinkled fabric of her suit smells of smoke.
Your heels don’t quite agree with the stone. After the fifth time of a near-twisted ankle, you huff, “Could I not have worn flat shoes?”
“The heels compliment your legs.”
“You can’t even see them.”
“Yet.” She winks.
You roll your eyes, ignoring the heat suffusing your cheeks. Another nod to a passing couple and Rio makes a sharp turn. You’re led into a damp, dim alleyway.
The ground is made from rough slabs of uneven stone. You curse when your heel slips and only Rio’s strength keeps you standing. Water slides down the walls on either side, thick moss growing in the cracks. You reach out to feel it only for your hand to come away red.
If not for Rio pulling you along, you’d have screamed. Blood cascades down the walls. From it grow dark, twisted plants you’ve studied beside The Road. Beneath the plants and out of them come bones; most have yellowed with age, but there is the occasional bright-white specimen.
Surprise aside, you lean toward the bones with interest. Still, Rio presses on.
The alleyway is growing slimmer by the second. Should it continue to do so, you’ll be forced to walk behind Rio, and the thought makes you tense.
Rio squeezes your hand, “Relax, sweetheart.”
“I’d relax more if I knew what we were doing here.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Before you’re forced to walk single-file, you come to the end. Rio traces a counter-sigil upon the stone. With a shudder, a door is revealed. Above the silver knocker, embedded in the door, sits an unblinking eyeball. The blue pierces you.
Rio pulls and slams the knocker. The eyeball falls from the door and hits the ground with a sickening pop. You nearly shriek while Rio makes noises of delight.
“Ooh,” She chuckles, “we’re not the first to arrive.”
You try not to think about what the eye must look like now, “Can I go home?”
“Why so squeamish all of a sudden? You handle the cadavers I bring you just fine.”
“That’s different. That’s research.”
“Who says this isn’t, sweetheart?”
The door opens soundlessly. Inside, the scene is much the same; another dark, slim space, though notably absent of plants and body parts. The owner of this place must be allergic to candles, the lighting situation is just pathetic.
Rio waits. When you make no move to walk inside, she sighs, nudging you with a hand on your lower back, “Ladies first.”
You’re not sure if being first or last is the worst. If anything is to jump from the walls now, you’ll take the brunt of it; you’re reminded of that day with Agatha all those years ago. Rio’s warmth at your back offers the strength you need to continue. Though, you do cling to her hand the whole way.
The hallway empties into a full room. Dark shelves match the height of the walls, on them jars full of ingredients. There are tables boasting dozens of drawers, though none sit open. Glasses and tools and cauldrons line the tabletops. In the center of it all are two figures; well, one figure and one corpse.
You can’t catch your breath. She’s as beautiful as the day you lost her.
“Agatha.” You whisper.
Agatha turns and smirks. She doesn’t look nearly as surprised to see you as you do her. Upon seeing you, her expression softens, eyes full of affection and longing. It hardens a bit when she glances behind you.
“You ruined the surprise.” Rio says, arms crossed, though one motions to the corpse, “We needed her.”
“What could you possibly need with a poison witch?”
“Our darling healer wanted to study with her.”
Something like regret turns Agatha’s face when she regards you. With a wave, she produces a thick book full of yellowing pages. You tilt your head when she offers it to you.
“Her life’s work. I’m sure there’s more here somewhere.” Agatha shrugs.
You take it and hold it to your chest reverently. All this time you thought Rio was putting you off about finding a competent poison witch and yet here you are, standing in her apothecary. She lies dead on the floor but you couldn’t care less when the real gift stands before you.
You long for her. You ache to feel the gentle caress of her hands on your face, the threat of her nails on your scalp.
A look at Rio tells you she isn’t entirely pleased with the turn of events. Yet when she sees your excitement some of her ire dissipates. The yearning in your eyes must be plain, since she gives you a single nod.
Book of poisons tossed onto the tabletop, you throw yourself into Agatha’s arms. She’s as steady as you remember. Her hand grips your chin and forces your lips to hers. Her hands are predictably firm wherever they land. She grips you as if afraid you’ll slip away. But her kiss, oh gods her kiss; soft lips and taunting, sharp tongue. The length of her body pressed against your own and so warm.
There are hands in your hair and this is all you’ve wanted—all you’ve craved for years. Why, then, do you feel the urge to cry? To rip the heart from your chest and banish it to where it won’t hurt?
Agatha is warm and steady. You bury your face in her neck and her in yours. Your hands shake with the force of clinging to her.
The feeling is bliss. Yet, it isn’t complete.
You glance over Agatha’s shoulder to Rio. She stands in the doorway, watching the scene with dark-eyed interest; but there’s a weariness in the set of her shoulders.
“Beloved.” You call, holding one of your hands out to her.
Rio raises a brow. Her eyes don’t stray from your outstretched hand.
“This is your gift, sweetheart.”
“And it’s incomplete without you.”
Her eyes stray to Agatha, who has taken to watching her, too. This time, Agatha’s eyes don’t harden. They maintain that soft look you melt for.
Agatha extends her own hand alongside yours.
“Come on.” Agatha urges, soft.
You watch the resolve break moments before she wedges her way into your embrace. Her fingers lace through yours, but her face is pressed into Agatha’s neck. She pushes and nuzzles like she wants to become part of her. It reminds you of the cat that visits the bower—Ebony—but you don’t dare say so.
Agatha’s hands leave you to caress Rio’s face. A thumb rubs along her cheekbone. You press yourself against Rio’s back, unable to glimpse her face but sure of the longing in her expression.
In a perfect world, there would be no separation between the three of you. No clothes, no emotional barriers, not even flesh to keep your hearts from mingling into one. You settle for Rio’s hand in your own and Agatha’s blue eyes locked on you.
You lean over Rio’s shoulder and kiss Agatha, your free hand fumbling with getting into the former’s pants. She chuckles darkly in your ear. It ignites a spark in your chest; a dangerous longing for this to remain, to be always. You try to push it away and focus on how Rio moans in your ear instead.
--
1869
“Will you walk with me?”
Rio nods, smiles grandly, “Of course.”
You laugh. She holds out her arm, ever the picture of a gentleman, but you lace your fingers through hers instead.
As a rare treat, you lead. You pull her along the road. The leaves change beneath your feet, from silver and black to the hues of autumn and then to pure green. The Road opens its arms into a clearing bathed in the color. Only the stone building in the center stands apart.
Upon your approach, flowers grow in the flattened grass where you step; honeysuckle and heliotrope, baby’s breath and red chrysanthemum. Rio glances over her shoulder as the blooms spring forth.
Ivy grows up the walls of the building. You brush a gentle hand over the leaves.
Crumbling, worn headstones en masse wait behind the building. 
Rio tilts her head, “What is this?”
The door is unlocked. You knew it would be. The Road cannot keep you from this place. 
Inside is warm and hazy. Papers with elegant scrawl cover every surface, books half-open litter any free spaces. Shelves line the walls, jars bearing various specimens. Plush couches overflow with deep, red cushions, begging you to sit and stay. A fire cracks in the fireplace.
Rio turns this way and that. She wanders around the room, flipping through books. A fingernail taps against a jar full of eyes. An errant paper is plucked from where it sits haphazardly atop the mantle. She stops.
You know the paper the second she comes into contact with it; can remember the way you wax poetic about how beautiful she is, how safe you feel in her arms. She picks another, then another, so on, and you know every word the second she touches them; the way she unwinds in Agatha’s arms, her face twisted in perfect fury, the lightless turn of her eyes when she teeters on the edge of wickedness.
She looks at you, vulnerable and unsure, “What is this?”
“My heart.”
“That
 then why is all of this here?”
Her hand shakes the papers for emphasis. You resist the urge to laugh, lest she think you’re making light of her. Death can be cruel, but you try not to be.
You step close. Gently, the papers are extracted and returned to their places. Rio stares and hardly breathes as you take your face in her hands.
“You pulled away after that night.” You whisper, finger tracing her cupids-bow, “Do you think I touch you only because it is convenient?”
Rio’s lip curls. Fists bunch at her side, crackling with green light. You feel the rumble of her anger working through her chest. She tries to pull from your hold, but you don’t let her.
“Do you think I kiss you and pretend it’s her?”
Rio snarls, “I will kill you if you don’t stop talking.”
You smile. The threat is a real one, but you don’t fear it; the outcome is remaining by her side. With one hand you reach and pull one of her fists between you. You unravel it, trying not to flinch against the bursts of power over her skin. You press the palm of her hand over where your heart resides inside your chest.
The snarl fades just so. Fury still lingers in her eyes. You press your hand over hers and will her to see, to know.
“Look at the walls.” You order.
Upon the walls, plain and dark, shimmering scrawl appears. Agatha Harkness, it reads in shaky lettering; like a name carved into a tree. One signature turns into ten and ten into countless. Purple and shimmering is Agatha’s brand upon you. Rio yanks and reaches for the dagger she keeps handy.
Rio’s true name appears in shimmering green letters, then. Same as Agatha’s, there are countless signatures. They conjoin and overlap until the walls of your heart look like nothing more than a child’s colorful scribbles.
She stares at the walls in disbelief. The knife in her hand clatters to the ground.
“I’ve carved your names upon my heart so I’ll never forget who it belongs to.” You whisper.
“Sweetheart
”
You bend and collect her blade, pressing it into her hand, “Now do it yourself.”
Her hand wraps around the handle reflexively. Rio’s hand doesn’t leave the spot over your heart, feeling the steady, truthful beat.
“It’ll hurt you.” Rio says. She doesn’t bother hiding the desire in her voice.
You urge, “Make me hurt.”
Each artful stroke of her blade is slow. You whimper, but grip her wrist and push the blade deeper into your flesh. She scoffs when tears flood your eyes. The tears run down your cheeks while you smile, filled with bliss and ache in equal measure.
It’s a gift to love so deeply it wounds you. You never want her to stop; who, aside from your shared scar, holds such power? Who else in the world could touch your heart truly enough to carve into it?
There’s delight in her every movement. She consumes the pain of millions and yet, none of it is of her own making. She can only relish in what others have done; torture for a being who remains eternally intimate with the greatest methods of drawing out agony. Death has no free will but that you offer her—and she takes what none else would give, ravenously.
Is it enough?
Not forever, something tells you, you think it might be her, but for now.
--
1925 
“You called?” Rio asks. 
“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re avoiding me.” 
Agatha leans against the wall beside a small window. The pane has been slid upward, letting in the sounds of the city below, releasing the smoke of Agatha’s cigarette into the air outside. 
The cigarette is clutched in gloved hands. Her expression is amused as she draws in and releases the smoke, watching it form the shapes she wills. Though it has no effect on such a witch, Rio admires the object’s capability of bringing Agatha infinitesimally closer to her. 
“We’ve been busy.” 
“Busy or not, I’d say twelve bodies earns me a visit. And with the bulk of good booze I just removed from the market, I’d say I’ve earned a little more.” 
An obvious lure with paltry bait, still Rio bites, “What do you have in mind?”
“Let me see her.” 
She should. You’ve come to accept Agatha’s absence in your life, but she sees how much time you spend in the bower, and how you flinch when her name comes up. Rio hadn’t expected the frequency of Agatha’s name on the lips of covens walking the road to be so overwhelming, but it always drives you right into her arms; that she will relish. 
But Death is not giving. She takes. Taking is, in fact, her favorite hobby. Twelve bodies is not enough to make up for the haunted look in your eyes. She wants more—will have it. Agatha has to earn you. 
“I’ll need a little more from you.” Rio drawls. 
“Do you have any idea how hard it is to kill that many witches here with the nightlife?” Agatha throws her hands up. Ash flies from the forgotten cigarette. 
The sounds of Chicago seem to grow louder, as if to aid her point. Rio grins. She crosses the small space and takes the cigarette, snuffing it out on the back of Agatha’s hand. The action prompts a quiet moan. 
“It shouldn’t be a problem. What I want, you have an abundance of.” Rio’s smile widens as she manipulates Agatha’s hand, removing the glove, pushing and prodding until purple flashes along the flesh. 
A cooling breeze sneaks in the window and rustles the fringe along Agatha’s dress. It’s a beautiful thing, short and decadent. Rio knows you’ve enjoyed the few sightings of the period fashion you’ve glimpsed, but like her, you’d enjoy this specific dress in a pile on the floor. 
Agatha’s eyes stare at where Rio’s flesh meets her own. Her eyes are contemplative, calculating. She hesitates. And that is her fatal mistake. 
Rio throws her across the room with a shove. Agatha’s side hits one of the walls and she falls, face-first, onto the mattress she’s been sleeping on. The springs shriek at the sudden weight. Agatha snarls, throwing out a blast of purple that slams into Rio’s chest. Rio moans something filthy. 
There’s a brief struggle where Rio does her best to keep Agatha pinned; to the bed, to the wall, wherever there’s a surface. Yet Agatha is slippery. Her magic whisks her right out of the hold Rio puts her in and wherever Agatha wills it; which currently, is behind the other witch so Agatha can kick the back of her knees. Rio kneels not of her own volition. 
She braces to stand, only to find the blade of her own dagger at her throat. 
Rio’s gaze has lost any warmth. Her affection is buried deep, beneath layers and layers of earth she craves to bury Agatha in right this second, “You’re breaking her heart.” 
“That shouldn’t be a problem, you like seeing her cry.” 
“When I’m the one responsible.” 
Agatha rolls her eyes. She maintains a carefully ambivalent expression. Rio knows better; knows, under all that forced emotion, that Agatha’s heart is waging against her head, warring over her selfish desire to keep every bit of power. 
Then, something shifts. Rio feels it. Agatha has made her choice and it isn’t you. And it ignites a rage in her chest unlike anything she’s felt in centuries. 
She snatches the dagger back from Agatha’s grasp and only just barely resists the urge to bury it in her chest. If she has to drag Agatha back to you kicking and screaming, she will. You would like that, wouldn’t you?
“I’ll kill you.” Rio vows, and means it. Agatha can’t run away from the two of you if her soul is Rio’s to keep. 
Agatha’s eyes flash with fear. Then, she grins around it, “If you can catch me.” 
Latin words roll off Agatha’s tongue faster than Rio can comprehend. She recognizes the words and what they mean, where they’ve come from. Rio reaches out with her magic for the Darkhold too late; it, and Agatha, have completely vanished from her awareness. 
When she returns to The Road and finds you pacing before the bower, she stops short. 
“Did you—is she dead?” You ask, worrying your lip. Though your eyes dart every which way, looking for whatever manifestation of Agatha you believe she’s brought you. 
“Sweetheart
” 
--
1937
“Do you think if I cut you open you would heal too fast for me to do any research?” 
Rio tilts her head, considering. She’s sprawled out on the plush couch inside the physical manifestation of your heart, toying with her knife, having a staring contest with the unblinking jar of eyes while you jot down thoughts into notebook number
 well, she’s lost count. 
“Probably.” She answers, “I’m also not sure I have organs.” 
You pause, “How is that even possible?” 
“Magic, sweetheart.”
Leaning back, your mind begins to race; given how old she is, it would only make sense that the organs the body came with are gone, rotted away—but would the flesh not go with it? You massage your temples. Life magic is no easier to understand than Death magic. 
There’s only one way to test your hypothesis. You stand from your place at the table and cross to her, straddling her hips where she lay on the couch. 
“I want to see.” You say, holding out a hand. 
Rio hands over her dagger and sinks further into the couch, as if that is possible. She grins up at you with no shortage of delight. You do your best to tamp down on your own grin. 
The flesh beneath your hands is warm and smells of damp earth where you peel away her shirt. Her eyes darken with every inch of flesh revealed to you. Firm and unafraid, you press the tip of the dagger down against her sternum. The action earns you an exaggerated moan. 
You rip the dagger away, glaring, “Behave.” 
“Or what?” Rio taunts, tongue pressing against the inside of her cheek. 
“Or I stop letting you watch my dissections.” 
She tenses, “You wouldn’t.” 
“Wouldn’t I, beloved?” 
“Get on with it.” 
You lean down and steal a quick kiss. It melts away the darling little pout on her lips. 
When you press the dagger back down, the flesh bends, but doesn’t open. You tilt your head and press harder. Rio watches, unphased. There is absolutely no give to her flesh. It gets to a point where you’re pressing your entire body weight behind the dagger, but Rio only laughs, squirming as if the action tickles. 
You whine and sigh. The dagger is dropped unceremoniously onto her chest while you lean an elbow against the back of the couch, sinking somewhat into the cushion. 
“If you want live specimens, we can collect some.” She soothes. 
The idea isn’t intolerable, but you shake your head. 
“They scream too much.” 
“Anesthetic exists, sweetheart.” 
“I suppose that’s true.” 
You look away, tracing the walls and their offerings with your eyes. Upon them hang paintings of your own making; scenes of life, death, love, fear—mostly fear. 
The human condition fascinates you, always has. Of the emotions to study, fear is the hardest; it is always fleeting in your wake; your face is too kind, too trustworthy, wiping away any sense of the unease you seek to study. You stare at your paintings and feel only distaste, knowing they’re not quite right. 
You can’t claim to have always had such taste. No, a cultivation for the finer flavors of life and death takes time. You can pinpoint where the itch started, however; that day in your childhood village when a dying soul reached out to you—scarcely were you a day older than four—and found no assistance. 
How beautiful it was; grisly, messy, but beautiful. You did not flinch away. Rather, you found yourself drawn in, eager to see more. And being of a coven of healers, your desire was fulfilled. Death was yours before you knew her name. 
Looking down at her, she stares back, unashamed to be caught. The heart in your chest—which has felt so stagnant in recent years—warms toward something almost pure. 
Rio will one day claim your soul. This, you know, and accept; your soul belonged to her the second you watched that woman die. You fear the when. What becomes of you when she claims your soul? What if you have yet to conduct all the research you desire? There is so much still to learn and you know she’ll abandon it for the chance to keep you. 
You love her, but you’ll never forgive her the knowledge you’ll one day lose. The warmth in your chest doesn’t ebb. 
Her top is still splayed open from your attempt at dissection. A healthy amount of flesh is bared to your eyes. You trace one finger from her neck to the center of her chest and tap, just above where a heart should be. 
“When you come for me,” You say, “I want to hold your heart in my hand.” 
“You already do.” She utters. 
“Will you let me study it, then, when I’m but a soul?” 
“You can study whatever you wish as long as it leads to me.”
--
1989
Agatha dwells on mistakes, often. She just doesn’t allow them to distract from her purpose. She is ruthless, to her very core. 
She spends an embarrassing amount of time trying to open the damned door to The Road. One coven after another, all failures. There is an obscene beauty in claiming a reward for what would otherwise be failure on her part. 
Time passes, enemies made, promises broken. She shrugs them all off. Yet she can’t shake the feeling of your hands in her hair, on her face. The lingering whisper of your kisses haunts her. The Darkhold whispers to her, oftentimes in language she shouldn’t comprehend, and it offers her the solution, should she just be patient; 
The Scarlet Witch
--
2026
The power that floats before you is biting and all too familiar. 
It fights against your hold, twisting and writhing like a wild animal, desperate to return to its mistress. But you’re stronger for now. The Scarlet Witch threw this power into the ether in her attempt at playing Death, and now it is yours to hold until Agatha comes for it. 
Anger rubs against the heart in your chest like a cat. You lean into it, feeling your own power respond to subdue that which isn’t yours. 
Rio watches beside you. She runs her fingers through the purple electricity contained in your palms, laughing when it fights her. Lips press against your temple. 
“Not long now.” She assures you. 
You feel longing and fury in equal measure. 
“I want her soul, Rio.” You whisper. 
A small chuckle, low beside your ear. It sends shivers down your spine. Her hand grasps your chin and turns you to face her, her lips meeting your own. The kiss is soft. You melt into it. 
She pulls back, tone careful, “You didn’t walk The Road, sweetheart.” 
You have not earned what The Road promises to grant. 
--
2026
Agatha doesn’t expect the end of The Road to look like Agnes’ Westview home, nor does she expect to see Rio perched on the roof, leaning back, as if waiting. But every step closer to the front yard makes her more furious. 
She is owed her prize. 
Upon her first step in Agnes’ yard, the front door opens, and she is blasted with something so strong that it knocks her back to The Road, on her back. She groans. Yet, she feels more alive than she has in centuries. Her body shudders with its missing piece; her power curling up in her veins, pleased to be home. 
She sits up, wincing at the ache in her bones that continues despite the gift she’s received. Leaves stick to the back of her arms, little pieces having crunched beneath her weight and adhered to her skin. She does her best to brush them away while getting to her feet. 
Rio remains on the roof, grinning. 
There, on the porch of Agnes’ house, is you. All the glory of you. 
Agatha’s heart leaps in her chest despite the scowl on your face. To her, you haven’t aged a day; still the young, fresh-faced witch following at her heels, dizzy on knowledge and the thrumming power inside. Time has not erased the love she has—so great it threatens to bring her to her knees. 
“Dearest
” Agatha murmurs, taking a half-step forward. 
“You have your prize.” You sneer. 
Your heart aches, begging you to go to her; hasn’t it been centuries? But your pride holds you back. She left you here while she gallivanted around the world getting what she wanted. 
There’s a brief flash of hurt on Agatha’s face, before it morphs into a wicked grin. Her posture changes, too, to something more proud, as she slinks across the yard toward the porch. You resist the urge to take a step back. 
“No, I don’t.” She drawls, “Are you going to be a good pet and come home willingly, or do I have to put you on a leash?” 
Something inside you burns for her. You ache for her touch, for her to force you to do what she wants. It creeps through the cracks of your pride and turns it into something else. You stick out your chin. Agatha snickers. 
Magic pulses in your palms, pulling various items from around you to throw—not fast enough. Agatha has you kneeling with your hands bound in a blink. 
“That’s not very nice, dear. And after all I’ve done to get here.” 
You regain some of your fight, snarling, “You left me here.” 
Agatha hums. 
“Into the deal you stumbled your way into. I’m not the one who tied herself to The Road in a fit of pride.” 
“You were leaving me regardless. If I was going to be handed off, I was going to do it on my own terms.” 
“Did I specify a length of time in my proposal? Was there any explicit mention of how long She could have you before I came back?” Agatha asks, mean-spirited joy in her eyes upon watching the realization dawn in your own. All that time you spent agonizing
 when you had shackled yourself, “Years lost because you wanted to be a self-righteous brat.” 
There’s a lilt to her voice that clues you in to everything you’d once seen instinctually; Agatha has been in just as much anguish as you have, left to walk the world alone. You see the pain in her eyes. Just like then, you try to get to her now, eager to fix it, to wipe it away. 
The binding around your arms keeps you stationary. You whine and pull against it. 
“Agatha,” You whine, “I’m sorry.” 
“You will be.” She says. Then she turns to your left, finger poised and accusing, “And you—you kept her away from me.” 
Rio shrugs, smiling, “I couldn’t just make it easy on you.” 
Agatha waves a hand and Rio is kneeling on the porch at your side, similarly bound. Yet where you look pained, she is delighted. 
“I’m sorry.” You repeat, “I didn’t mean to be bad.” 
“That doesn’t change that you were.” 
A cloud of purple smoke announces your arrival to the inner bedroom of Agnes’ house. It doesn’t look like what you’ve seen from Rio, though. Where Agnes had been bland and cookie-cutter, this is rich fabrics and deep wood. It is Agatha through and through. 
You and Rio kneel side-by-side at the foot of the bed, where Agatha perches. Her beautiful blue eyes don’t miss the slightest movement you make. She’s clad in a dark robe with snakes and flowers that has Rio leaning forward in interest. 
Agatha’s eyes lock on you, “You’re going to apologize. Properly.” 
“I’m sorry—” 
“With your tongue.” 
Leaning back on her forearms, Agatha spreads her legs, and you feel the desire in your body rush through you. It’s so strong you feel your head begin to pound. She’s pink and dripping and all you want is to do a good job for her. 
Yet, ever the brat, you lean forward and start with kissing her inner thighs. With every press of your lips to the delicate flesh you murmur an apology. She sighs. 
A hand weaves into your hair and yanks you back. Her eyes are dark. Her face is set in a punishing expression but you see the yearning in her that matches your own. She yanks again, lighter, and you moan. 
“What did I say?” She asks, before directing you where she wants you. 
Witches don’t subscribe to the idea of what a human would call heaven, but upon tasting her, you think you could get behind it. She’s warm and sweet. You flatten your tongue and drag it along her slit just to collect a better taste of her. Agatha’s hand presses you in harder as she moans. 
Without the use of your fingers, you have to use your tongue well. You stiffen it as much as you’re able when you delve inside her and hope it is even slightly close enough to satisfy. The pathetic sounds reaching your ears—breathy moans, sweet whimpers—tell you that you’re doing fine. 
“Good girl.” Agatha breathes out. 
You clench around nothing. You’re sure that you’ve ruined your undergarments thoroughly from how wet you are. 
Eager for more praise, you direct your attention to that small, fleshy bundle of nerves begging for your attention. You swirl your tongue around her clit and her hips stutter, before they grind against your face with a renewed sense of purpose. You smile. 
“Yes—there, more—” Agatha stutters. 
You were born to do as she commands. All you want is to make her happy. Following her directions is as easy as breathing. 
The tip of your tongue alternates between circling her clit and flicking it. Every flick earns you a high-pitched oh! and a firm grinding of her hips. Her thighs are tightening around your head, but she’s putting up a good fight. Her legs quiver. 
“There—there—I’m going to—” Is all the warning you’re given before Agatha shrieks and comes while rutting against your mouth. You lap up every drop of her wetness you can get with glee. You did this, you brought her this pleasure; the knowledge sends a happy jolt through you. 
Agatha’s grip on your hair releases and you lean back, taking in big lungfuls of air. She stares down at you with a thoroughly fucked-out expression that makes you preen. 
Then she leans over and pulls your lips to hers. She moans against the taste of herself on your lips, tongue collecting the flavor from your lips. You throw every ounce of love you possess into the kiss—willing her to understand the longing you felt, the thousands of hours you spent watching her lifeline just to make sure she was safe. 
“Good girl.” Agatha murmurs, pressing little kisses all over your face, “My good girl.” 
“All yours.” You agree.
She laughs, low and smooth, “That’s not quite the truth, is it?” 
The two of you turn to regard Rio in unison. She remains in the position Agatha left her in, kneeling and bound. You admire her restraint at not breaking the bindings. Though you guess Agatha wouldn’t take kindly to that. 
Rio’s eyes are black with desire. They dart between the two of you. She takes in the wetness on your face, licking her lips. You can feel her eagerness for a taste. 
She’s writhing a bit in her restraints, pressing her thighs together and wiggling, looking for any source of friction she can find. Agatha tuts and she stops. If it were up to you, your face would be between her thighs, ears enjoying every sound she makes. But it isn’t up to you. 
Agatha scoots back up the bed until she’s sitting against the headboard. That’s when you feel the restraints on you fall away. She beckons the two of you with a finger and you both follow the command, eager. 
“Come here.” Agatha urges you specifically, patting her bare thigh. 
You obey and straddle the appendage, shuddering against the feeling against your throbbing clit. There’s a split second where you think of just grinding down and taking what you want. But you don’t—you have to be good. 
Words pass between Agatha and Rio during your silent struggle. When you look, she’s lying along the length of the bed, legs bunched up and spread wide next to you. 
“What am I going to do with you both?” Agatha muses. 
“Fuck us?” Rio drawls. 
“You, my good girl,” Agatha says, ignoring Rio as she soothes a hand through your hair, “are going to use me until you come. And my bad girl isn’t going to come until I tell her she can.” 
You shudder, whimpering, while Rio whines next to you. Agatha kisses your forehead while dealing a slap to Rio that makes her groan. 
A hand settles onto your hip and begins to guide you through the motions of grinding against her. The friction is difficult to attain with how wet you are, but you do what you can, crying out everytime the pressure is just enough to make your toes curl. It won’t take long for you to finish. 
Your face is buried in Agatha’s neck, where you press loving little kisses to the flesh. As a result you cannot see Rio. But you hear her; every movement of Agatha’s deft fingers through her wetness, every growl and keen of desire, every slap of Agatha’s hand when she gets a bit too eager. She won’t last long either, from what you can tell. 
The image of Rio and Agatha in your mind is enough to push you toward that delightful little taste of death. Your hands tighten over Agatha’s shoulders. 
“Agatha, can I—please?” You plead. 
“So obedient, asking for permission even when you don’t need to.” Agatha praises, “Go on, darling.” 
With her hand guiding you and her voice in your ear, you come so hard you see stars behind your eyes. You’re not sure what sound leaves your lips, only that your throat aches afterward. 
You tune back in to hear a brutal slap of flesh on flesh. Rio snarls. 
“Beg.” Agatha’s voice commands in your ear, though you know it isn’t for you. 
Rio stays stubbornly silent. 
The sounds of Agatha toying with her come to an abrupt halt. You don’t have the strength to lift your face from your refuge, but you can imagine that stubborn, yet pleading look in Rio’s face; wanting so deeply but not willing to give up what is required. 
“If you don’t want to behave, she can have your pleasure instead.” 
“No! I’ll—” You hear Rio grit her teeth, “Please, Agatha. Please let me come.” 
Agatha laughs. 
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” She coos. 
Seconds—or maybe minutes—before Rio wails. There’s something primordial and animalistic wrapped inside it, almost like a growl. It makes you shudder. Then all that's left in the room is the sound of breathing. 
You spent so long aching for something just like this. It’s beautiful, though you know it can’t stay; all three of you are far too ambitious to live a domestic existence, but it’s nice for now. You missed them. The heart in your chest feels complete again, filling to the brim with affection. 
Tears seep from your eyes and you pull back before Agatha can question it, though you do feel her stiffen. You press kisses to her neck, her sternum, the inside of her wrist; then you grab Rio’s hand and press kisses to every pad of her fingers. 
With every kiss, you murmur I love you. 
--
2027 
“If you don’t sedate him at least a little bit, his heart is going to give out.” 
Rio’s sudden voice next to you isn’t surprising. You’ve grown used to her coming and going—Death waits for no one, after all. Her lips press to your cheek and you accept the affection. 
“She did sedate him. Three times.” Agatha’s voice calls from the next room. 
“Oh, I see.” 
Rio leans over to examine the man on your table with no shortage of interest. He stares back, eyes impossibly wide. His heart rate picks up. 
“What is he?” She asks. 
“Not sure. Rapid regeneration, odd capabilities. Mutant, maybe?” 
“He’s certainly not a witch.” Agatha’s leaning against the doorway now, arms folded over her chest, “Though it is taking a fair amount of magic to keep him subdued.” 
“He’s no match for you, naturally.” You compliment. 
Both Agatha and Rio grin at that. The former comes up behind you, hands settling on your hips. Her lips press against your neck. Then, she leans over and steals a kiss from Rio, who is all too eager to meet her halfway.
You smile. The heart in your chest threatens to burst—not unlike the specimen in front of you. 
“Well, aren’t you sweet today.” Agatha comments. 
“Aiming for a reward?” Rio asks. 
Rio kisses her way up the flash of skin available to her eyes, making you sigh, leaning back into Agatha’s hands. Then Agatha’s lips fasten to the other side of your neck. Your head falls back and you laugh. Then you moan. 
The experiment on your table is forgotten as you’re dragged into the next room and bent into all sorts of shapes you couldn’t even imagine on your own. Oh, well; if he dies before the six hour mark, you can always just find another one. The same cannot be said of the witches bracketing you. And oh, how beautiful that is. 
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lucvly · 1 year ago
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— boyfriend headcannons with matt. âž° đ–„” ͙
warnings: the usual !! sfw and nsfw parts. not proofread my bad.
a/n: i love reqs helppp 😣 working on another one which actually involves writing as we Speak !! i had to reupload this because i forgot tags SORRY anon 💔
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— this man is obsessed with you. literally doesn’t even find any other women attractive. he has the biggest heart eyes for you it’s insane.
— adores hyping you up on instagram. he’s the type to reply “alr i saw it you can take it down now !!” when you post a story. your posts are filled with comments from him.
— he’s an absolute sucker for grand gestures. asked you to be his girlfriend by decorating your room with balloons !! goes all out on your anniversary (buys you a dress, gets you new jewelry, etc.)
— loves to color coordinate with you. whenever you two are going out or just seeing each other he calls you to match outfits. he thinks it’s the cutest (+ chris and nick tease him sooo bad for it)
— always gets you your go-to drinks. you’ll mention an iced latte once and he’s getting one for you every single day !! he’s so cute bye
— secretly loves it when you take pictures of him like a soccer mom LMAOO. he thinks it’s the cutest thing ever. you love taking pictures of him doing literally anything: driving, doing laundry, etc.
— loves sleeping on call with you. he absolutely adores hearing you rant about your day. + sleeping on call together him while he’s on tour and misses you so badly !! half of the call is just him complaining about how much he wishes he could see your face and kiss you.
— he may whine about how you’re stealing all his clothes and hoodies but secretly loves watching you in them.
— him driving is sooo attractive. he’s such a gentleman ughhh. this man will get out of the car and open the door for you, leans over and buckles your seatbelt, + always has his hand on your thigh.
— always kissing you. forehead kisses, neck kisses, cheek kisses, etc.
— soo good at comforting and reassuring you. he’s such a sweetheart it’s sickening !!!
— your personal driver. it’s 3 am and you wanna go out? call him and he’ll be there in 5. you’re drunk at a party and need a ride? your boyfriend’s there.
— replies to your texts at lightning speed it’s sooo embarrassing but cute !!
— updates you on everything that happens throughout his day.
— nsfw below!
— anytime you kiss him it ends up in a heated ass make out session. your hands softly pulling on his hair, his hands gripping your waist as you ever so slightly grind on his hardening cock !! lollll !!
— he leans more towards the gentler side in bed. cute pet names, makes it All about you and your pleasure– (though he loves it when you give him head).
— howeverrrr, he can definitely get mean during sex. i’m talking manhandling, shoving your face into the pillow, dirty talk. (“too big— i can’t–,” “i don’t care, you can take it. i’ll make it fit.”)
— loves it when you overstimulate him. it’s his favorite thing ever. have fun watching him squirm, hearing him moan and whimper your name.
— begs you to sit on his lap. he adores it. stroking your hair, kissing your neck, his hands on your waist as he tries his hardest to not grind his hips up or simply just fuck you senseless.
— he’s vocal. whimpering out loud, begging, groaning, grunting. all of it.
— extremely good at aftercare. he’ll immediately clean you up, get a bottle of water for you, cuddle, talk, anything you want and he’s completely at your service.
— he’s such a secret pervert !!! cannot see you in a skirt because he’s already hard. showing a bit of cleavage? hard. sees you in a bathing suit? it is over for him. he needs you.
— cockwarming him while he’s gaming <333. he’s all for it. one time you two made a bet that consisted on making the other crack first. spoiler alert: you ended up with your moans being muffled by a pillow because you just couldn’t let him finish his game, could you?
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sttoru · 1 year ago
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hmmm what if gym sex with gym owner/instructor toji fushiguro. you know, they be fucking by machines and stuff đŸ«šđŸ«šđŸ«š
𝐒𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 . . . !
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⟣ sypnosis. you thought it’d be just another day of you at the gym with your gym instructor, toji—though things were quick to escalate into a different kind of ‘workout’.
⟣ tags. gym instructor!toji fushiguro x female reader. exhibitionism, public, p in v unprotected, standing doggy ig, spanking, hair pulling, teasing, sprinkle of objectification / degradation, creampie, no to little aftercare, kinda pervert!toji as well. reader gets called ‘doll’.
⟣ note. yummyyumyummm.. this made me think of this ask t sent me & this fanart i need him so bad t_t not proofread btw. !
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you were a newbie to the gym—your usual workouts consisting of the most simple sets; jumping jacks, burpees, crunches, squats, planks and push ups. an acquaintance of yours attends the same sports club and recommended you a certain gym instructor who works there most of the time.
his name was toji and apparently was good enough at his job for many other gym attendees to hire him in. you did the same and had started a few sessions with him earlier that week. toji was patient and quick to give you the needed feedback and advice on your workouts — a nice guy.
though, he did seem a bit intimidating, especially due to the fact that he was extremely bulky. your stomach did a flip once you first saw that dark-haired man.
the black tank top he wore almost every other day, his muscles that flex with each movement, the scent of his cologne you could smell whenever he got close and nonchalantly adjusted or corrected your form; that guy was more than simply attractive.
as your mind wandered and daydreamt about your gym instructor, your body was doing its needed squats. up and then down, inhale and exhale, tense and relax—you were on autopilot.
what you didn’t notice, due to the music blasting in your ears, was that toji had been wandering around the area. it was almost time for your own session with him where he’d do some cardio with you.
toji sipped on his water bottle, lazily approaching you from behind, your backside towards him. he looked around for a bit—this specific section of the gym was nearly empty at this hour of the day. except for you, him and. . . a random guy who was lifting weights in a far away corner.
toji’s eyes couldn’t help but flicker from your exposed shoulder blades to the curve of your ass whenever you squatted. it was very much intentional; not for the sake of checking on your squatting form, but more for the sake of his own needs.
it was like that almost every time he’s training with you—the gym instructor cannot resist the urges of subtly checking out that body of yours. more specifically, the curves of it. he could get a bit handsy when teaching you how to get the gist of a certain exercise.
you were a bit oblivious to this, because you thought that it was simply just toji doing his job. gym instructors were meant to help you along the way—instructing somebody and helping them get into the desired position by appropriately touching their body was part of that process. . . right?
you don’t know, but you also didn’t care. his touch on your thighs when he was correcting your form that other day, the way his big and veiny hands were gently holding your flesh; it was just way too appealing. even if he was doing his job, there was an undeniable attraction hanging between the two of you.
you couldn’t even count the many times where you ‘accidentally’ bumped into him at the gym just to hold a short conversation. toji’s eyes were everywhere—the sight of you out of breath, sweating whilst trying your best to look pretty when talking to him stirred his loins.
the dark-haired man knew you purposefully come and talk to him after each session. he knew that you always try to look confused in the gym when experimenting with a new machine just to catch his attention. toji knew all about your ‘innocent’ acts and yet he was falling for them. hard.
you were too good at that game of seduction and if it wasn’t for him risking the loss of his job, he’d have fucked you long ago. he’d have satisfied both your desires right at the gym with everyone seeing—he craved for a taste of you. he needed it. sooner or later.
so, toji took his chance. ‘it was now or never,’ he told himself as he approached you from behind. his presence was only sensed by you when his hands came in touch with your body.
one hand pressed onto your lower back slightly, the other on your upper thigh, fingertips digging onto the fat to help it slightly backwards, pushing your hips towards him—
“how many times do i have to tell ya, hm?” toji’s raspy voice whispers in your ear, his figure looming over yours making you feel caged between him and the treadmill you were facing whilst squatting, “arch your lower back just a tad bit more, push y’r hips back properly—mhm, jus’ like that. good, very good.”
you surprisingly do as told even whilst you were caught off guard by toji’s sudden appearance. your heart was beating out of your chest by the proximity of your bodies like this; your palms were getting sweaty. and not from your workout.
“y’re definitely gettin’ the hang of it.” your gym instructor comments, a faint hint of pride in his tone. he retracts his hands from your body, however not before teasingly letting his fingertips brush against the bottom of your ass, feeling up its shape in that single second of contact— “how’s your workout been today?”
you knew that touch was intentional. there’s no other explanation to the lingering stare on your ass as well. his eyes shamelessly took in your thighs and hips as if he wanted to be all over them, to touch them like he’d longed for so long.
“good. was about to take a break.” you reply. truth was, you weren’t. you only said so since toji was chatting with you at the moment.
there was an evident tension between you two—the way you took a sip from your water bottle whilst your pretty eyes were focused on toji’s ripped physique, your gaze that darted from his eyes to his lips, chest, lower body and back up. . . that game of seduction had gone on for way too long. toji had to have you. right here, right now.
that’s how you ended up clinging for dear life onto the treadmill in the corner of the building, your leggings and panties pushed down to your knees and toji behind you with his hands using your hips as leverage—his cock finally having a taste of your warm insides after all this time of fantasising about it during your lessons with him.
“fuck. . knew this pussy’d be fuckin’ tight—almost can’t move due to how much y’re squeezing me, doll.” the man’s rough voice spoke out whilst your wet folds were spread apart to fit his cock all the way in, his size massive to the point it almost hurt, “there you go, takin’ it so well.”
your walls clamped around his dick like you didn’t want him to ever move out of you—like this moment was all you had wanted from your encounters up until now. toji curses under his breath at the sight he’s finally seeing;
you trembling whilst he was balls deep inside of your greedy cunt that swallowed every single inch, even if it stung. what made it even better of an achievement was the fact that your ass was properly in his view now, fat jiggling with each press of his hips against it.
“hnngh—fuck me.. ah, please!” your stifled moans almost make toji’s eyes roll back. he loved those sounds of pure pleasure that escaped your lips—the ones which you couldn’t contain behind that hand clamped around your mouth.
it was risky after all; fucking in an open gym. you didn’t know if that one guy on the other side of the area had already left or not. you couldn’t see through all those machines and pillars obstructing your view. you just went with the logic that if you couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see you.
toji—being the absolute tease that he is—had seen your eyes wander across the section of the gym you were in. oh, he didn’t like it one bit that your attention was on anything other than him and his dick slamming into your sloppy pussy;
he stopped his movements and torturously slid his cock out of you until the head was all what was left inside, prodding into you every now and then like he was going to slam it back fully, only for nothing to occur. toji bit the inside of his cheek; rough hand landing hard on the left side of your ass, the other side getting its turn a second after you whimper.
the process repeats which makes your back arch deeply, hips instinctively moving back and then forwards—basically fucking yourself on his cock. toji liked that desperation in you. that’s what he wanted to gain out of his actions.
“hah—ya can push those hips back properly now, ay?” your gym instructor exhales through his nose, hand traveling from your ass to your hair, yanking that low ponytail of yours back. his sharp eyes scanned your backside as if you were a piece of meat, his hips grinding against your ass, kneading the flesh with his pelvis, “remember this when y’re squatting again—the position of your back like this, the slight arch—fuck.”
even in a predicament like this, toji used it to teach you about your form during your squats. not that you knew what that man was saying. you were too focused on the way he was slowly stroking his dick in your pussy, wanting the tip to reach the deepest parts.
“shiitt,” toji sighs before a noise—almost a low whistle—forms in the back of his throat. the pleasure kept building up inside of him and he knew that he could cum just by a bit of grinding against that plump flesh of your ass, his balls rubbing against the curves of it, “this body of yours ‘s gonna make me lose my mind, doll.”
but, toji didn’t want to end it with that. he was here to give you the pounding of your life—teach you another lesson which was unrelated to your workouts; the lesson of what happens if you try to seduce a man like him.
toji wastes no time and grabs your hips again, angling his own to hit your g-spot with each rough thrust once he resumes the movements. each press to that sweet area makes your legs shake, lips moving frantically, though only incoherent and slurred words leave your lips in quiet moans;
“nghh! toji, ‘s too good!” you whine, your own hand still clamped around your mouth to keep yourself quiet. you were always vocal during sex, but it was a bit risky to let yourself go in a public space like this, “mmph!”
though, with the fact that you were getting the pounding of your life right now, there was no denying the fact that it was impossible to stay fully quiet. a few lewd moans escape—toji tugging at your hair each time as a warning,
“sshh, don’t w’nna get me fired, do ya?” the man behind you grins. he isn’t even worrying in the slightest that this moment was probably getting caught on the cctv camera footage in the gym.
toji could easily get rid of those himself since he works at the gym and has some internal connections, but it’d make it all so difficult if somebody were to catch you in the act, “if ya keep quiet, we’ll do this more often, yeah?”
you shiver at that promise. you could already imagine all the times you can have toji to yourself in the future; how he’ll press you to a bench and fuck you—or maybe he’ll even take you in bathrooms. it was such a turn on. that’s all what was needed to shut you up in an instant;
“good girl.” that gruff voice murmurs once more, the pressure in your stomach builds, the coils forming threatening to snap any minute now for both of you. toji’s self control was hanging by a thread.
that same thread snapped in half the moment you let out a whiny and vulnerable whimper in the form of his name. with one hard thrust, toji presses his hips firmly against your ass, grunting as he makes sure to dump his load the furthest he could—the warmth of the sticky liquid filling your senses eventually stimulated you enough to reach your own climax.
“easy there, doll.” your gym instructor thrusts once, twice before pulling himself out of you, leaving the mixture of fluids leaking down by your legs. he huffs at the sight, taking it in for a couple seconds whilst kneading your ass between his fingers.
toji grabs a tissue he had somewhere in the pocket of his sweatpants and wipes his tip before tucking himself back in his boxers—pulling his pants up and readjusting his appearance like nothing ever happened.
toji puts the used napkin in your shivering hand and nods at you. you were a pretty thing whilst fucked out of your mind, that he could indeed confirm in a singular moment of eye contact.
he sighs and leaves you to fend for yourself as he starts to walk towards the stairs that lead to the third floor, probably to take care of something. you never know what he’s up to when he’s not in the gym—a mysterious man.
before the gym instructor vanishes, he does leave you a hushed message on his way to the staircase, head cocked to the side to look at you from his peripherals whilst he walks;
“clean y’rself up and continue with your work out. will be back in a few to check in on ya.”
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honeytonedhottie · 9 months ago
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starting and managing ur blog⋆.àłƒàż”*:ïœ„đŸ°
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so you wanna start a blog? in this post i’ll break down effective ways to start, manage and maintain a blog (from my own experience of course) i hope u find this helpful ✹
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TOPIC AND IDEA ; 
to have a blog you need an idea or concept about what your blog will be about. make your blog about either something that you know a lot about/are proficient in.
or blog about something that u are learning about as a way to track ur progress and learn new information. you could blog about something that you love a lot etc etc. 
AESTHETIC ; 
what is your aesthetic? for me it’s hyper feminine and pink and just DIVINE. when u choose and stick to an aesthetic it’ll give ur blog kind of a signature which is important for the rest of this post. 
when u have an aesthetic in mind for ur blog make sure that you have plenty of pins on pinterest that mesh nicely with ur aesthetic so u can find things like headers, dividers, photos and emojis that suit the aesthetic of ur blog. 
RESOURCES ; 
pinterest is my holy grail for resources. there u can find headers and photos to use in ur posts to give ur audience something visually pleasing to look at while they read ur post. 
what ur gonna want to start off ur blog aesthetic and theme is ; 
a header 
a color scheme (for coloring/bolding words. and the colors for ur blog page in general)
an informative bio 
a pfp 
dividers 
START OFF POST IDEAS ; 
if u want to run a well organized blog there are a couple posts that i think are beneficial for u to make. in fact the most important post that i think any blog should have is a MASTERLIST.
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master lists are great for a multitude of things. they help ur audience to navigate ur blog easier and see all that you have to offer in one convenient tap of their finger. plus when u make navigating ur blog easy, more people will experience ur content which will mean more interactions with ur post.
not only does it help the audience but it also helps u to know what u did and didn’t post, so that u can plan effectively for the future. it’s also a fun way to see how much u posted. i recommend making a new masterlist every year or when you can’t put any more links onto it 💀. if u want a reference for a good masterlist you can check out mine right here.
CONSISTENCY ; 
consistency is key in anything and everything and blogging is no exception. i recommend not blogging in a competitive nature, rather i think in order to be consistent with something like a blog you should genuinely just do it for funsies/passion and as a way to have ur own authentic creative outlet.
i don’t have a set posting schedule bcuz i don’t want blogging to feel like a chore when in reality it’s just a hobby that happened to gain an audience because people enjoyed it. and because people enjoy what i write, it in return makes me happy and wanna write more.
SIGNATURE ; 
i cannot stress this enough but when u have a platform whether it’s small or big individuality sets you apart! have something that sets u apart like personalized hash-tags, a way that u talk, etc etc. 
personalize hash-tags with things like emojis. also, USE UR HASHTAGS because when someone looks up something like “self improvement” your post will be what they see if u add those hashtags.
furthermore if u personalize those hashtags it sets u apart and gives ur blog a kind of brand and individuality in a way. like a signature at the end of a post.
THINGS TO KEEP TRACK OF ;
what posts you’ve done/want to do
upcoming projects or ideas that u have
how your following/interactions are growing or shrinking
how much $ u get from tips
inbox questions or dms to answer
your plans and goals
your personalized hashtags
i hope this post was helpful to anyone who has been thinking about or wants to create their own blog, i encourage you to do so ✹
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just-a-fluffy-knight · 4 months ago
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Little Sass Factory
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Word Count: 1.8K
Warnings: canon typical language, Logan being ruthless and Wade being a teasy asshole
A/N: LETS GOOO DEADPOOL AND WOLVIE FIC‌‌ I’ve been wanting to write for these guys ever since I saw the movie y’all have no idea I am so obsessed with them right now 😞 AND A PLUS BEING THIS DOESNT NECESSARILY SPOIL THE MOVIE SOOOO YALL CAN READ IT đŸ™ŒđŸ»đŸ™ŒđŸ»
I really hope y’all like this bc I cannot stop thinking about them and yapping about them to my buddies đŸ˜­đŸ™đŸ» Like as much as I’d love to wreck these two, I cannot stop thinking about them as a ler duo so have this :]
OKAY HAVE FUN READING YALL đŸ«‚â€ïž
Tag List: @prairleedog (THANKS FOR THE TITLE INSPO POOKALOOKS đŸ™đŸ»â€ïž) @kittenwhiskers @cherry-bomb-blush
“Y’know what? I’m actually real excited for this! Moony has been wanting to write a thing with us for a while now! Good on her for pushing through the writers block, that shit sucks ass.”
“
What the hell are you talking about?! We’re looking for the kid, remember!?”
And that they were. They’d been scouring the apartment for like
 six minutes now trying to find you. But somehow, you’d been able to consistently switch hiding spots without them noticing.
How? They had no clue. The pair wouldn’t have been surprised discovering you were also some kind of mutant but with advanced sneakiness, if that was even a thing.
Wade was actually having a bit of fun with this, whereas Logan
 he was getting pretty pissed. More so than usual.
“Kid, I swear to god, if you don’t show yourself in ten goddamn seconds, I WILL start tearing this fucking place down!”
Logan crouched, his claws instantly coming out, making Wade panic.
“Woaaah, woah, woah, woah! Easy, Peanut, we’re trying to find ‘em! Not kill them, which may sound a little rich coming from me-“
“I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to be angry. The kid decided to pull that shit on us and then split. And now we can’t find ‘em.” The older man growled, his claws retracting back into his hands.
“And this is the moment we start working together!” Wade announced, an arm slung around Logan’s shoulder that most likely would’ve been sliced if he hadn’t allowed the latter to shrug it off in annoyance.
However, Logan swiftly turned at the sound of a noise nearby, his eyebrow raising as he went to check it out, leaving Wade to keep rambling about nonsense he didn’t understand.
“God, where’s Peter Parker when you need him?? Actually, I don’t think I’d mind a lil bit of Miguel O’hara
” Wade let out a long whistle.
“
Ah wait, he doesn’t have that Spidey-Tingle , fUCK-!”
The merc suddenly yelped as he was grabbed by his collar, being yanked towards where Logan was moving.
Meanwhile, you were curled up, both hands over your mouth as you tried to shut yourself up, anxious titters threatening to give yourself away.
You mentally berated that stupid floorboard that just had to creak at the slightest bit of goddamn pressure.
“Ohhh, Y/NNNNN! Come on out now, we’re not gonna hurt ya!”
The sound of the merc’s goofy teasing made you snicker even more, but when you heard how close Logan’s voice was to the closet, you froze.
“Why the hell do you have to talk like that?”
“Whaaat? It turns up the fun knob a little bit! And I know they can hear meeeee!” Wade crooned in that same sing-song tone, followed by an unamused huff from Logan.
“We’re gonna getcha, we’re gonna getchaaaa!”
God, could they just get out the room?? You had to throw them off again and fast. During your panicked inner monologue, you were soon met with
 silence.
You relaxed, knowing you must’ve had an opportunity.

At least you did until you realised something. When the hell is it ever quiet when those two are together?
Then, you heard a hushed voice coming from outside the closet door.
“Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for
”

Oh, fuck.
Without warning, the closet doors were swung open by Wade, and the merc jokingly vocalised (very off-key too) while throwing his arms up with a flourish.
“WOOOAAAAAH!”
As you yelped in fear and dashed out the closet, Wade laughed and made a glance towards
 well, air.
“If ya know, ya know!”
You quickly slipped past Wade, also laughing as you ran out the door to the room you’d been hiding in.
“Yohou’ll never take me al- ACK-!”
You yelped again as two strong arms wrapped around your torso, hoisting you up and off the floor.

Shit.
“And just where do you think you’re goin, bub?”
“Wait, wahahait! Logan, hohold on-“
“No no no no no, I’m not waiting for anything.” Logan interrupted, carrying you back into the bedroom. “Not after you pulled that shit.”
“Oh, whahat? A little bit of water?”
“I wouldn’t say the rubber band on the sink trick counts as a little bit of water, Y/N.” Wade snickered, crossing his arms and smiling proudly at the fact you’d been caught.
“Come ohon, it wasn’t that bahAD-!” You yelped again as you were tossed onto the bed, still giggling. “Whahat’s the matter? Couldn’t shake the water off, kitty cat?”
The older hero scowled threateningly at you, ignoring Wade who sniggered at the joking insult.
“What?”
“You heheard me!”
Just as Logan was about to full on lunge towards you, Wade grabbed him.
“Hey, hey! Easy now, boy.” The merc spoke like he was talking to a feral dog, making Logan glare at him and growl.
“God, what now?”
“We gotta approach slowly! It builds up anticipation
” As Wade spoke, he began slowly approaching, carefully clambering onto the bed. “And proves to this little prankster how royally fucked they are!”
And it was working. Your giggles soon turned nervous, and you curled up, attempting to shy away from Wade (but not actually putting a lot of effort into getting away, much to Logan’s surprise and Wade’s amusement).
“And theeeen I’m juuust gonnaaaaaa
”
Suddenly, the merc’s arms swiftly looped under your own, lifting and leaving your, well, everything pretty much exposed and unable to be protected.
“Go on, boy! Gettem! Gettem, boy!”
Logan’s fury was way too fuelled by Wade’s stupid comments to even allow you to get a word in edgeways, instantly lunging forwards before digging and vibrating his claw-shaped hands right into your ribs.
“OhoH SHIHIHIT-! L-Logan, gehet OHOHOFF-!” A squeal left your mouth as you burst into frantic giggles and tried to kick, only for the older man to firmly shove right back at your legs, rendering you unable to fight back.
“God, will you just- quit the kicking?” Logan growled, a surprising air of playfulness behind it as he shot his hands right down to your thighs, firmly kneading there.
Despite already squealing your ass off, you couldn’t help but make a quip.
“Mahahaking biscuits reheally isn’t gonna hehehelp you beat the kitty allegahations, buhud-!”
Another low grumble filled the room, before Logan turned his head to Wade.
“Shut the kid up.”
“Roger that!”
Wade did a dumb salute before unhooking his arms from under yours to wiggle his fingers right into your armpits.
“Getchagetchagetcha!”
“AAAAHHHHHAHA DAMMIHIHIT-!” You practically shrieked, your giggles instantly shifting into full blown laughter as you pinned your elbows to your ribs, trying to squirm away but failing thanks to that iron grip Logan had on your legs.
“Ooh! I think I got a killer spot here, Logan!”
“Hmph, that’s nothin. Watch this.”
Logan earned another screech by mercilessly drilling his thumbs into your hips, making you buck instinctively and cackle uncontrollably.
“Nuh-uh! Armpits are the killer!” Wade protested, the merc speeding up his tickles on your underarms.
“Fat chance! They’re like a banshee when you get ‘em here!”
You wanted to protest, but all you could focus on were those hands attacking your weak spots.
Eventually, you felt them thankfully let up.

For now, anyway.
“Now, Y/N. There is a way we can squash this beef, y’know.”
Logan sighed at Wade’s words, never understanding this ridiculous slang he dropped into conversation like it was nothing.
“Maybe a simple phrase such as
 ‘I’m sorry?’”
“I can do one better.” Logan interrupted. “How about ‘I’m sorry I was a jabbering little sass factory who had the audacity to pull a dumb fuckin prank on people who didn’t do jack?’”
While catching your breath, you sealed what was basically your death wish.
“Oh, yeheah, Captain Caveman? Wheheres your helicopter cluhub, you gonna hit mehe with it?”
Logan fell silent again
 while Wade couldn’t help but let out a wheeze at the quip.
“Ohoh, my god! Baby’s first character comparison joke, I’ve taught you so well..!” Wade sniffed dramatically, wiping a fake tear of proudness from the corner of his eye.
However, he froze once he heard you mutter something else.
“Thahat’s right, Mr Clehean-“
A strong gasp of offence left the merc as he placed a hand on his chest, while Logan gave him a smug look at not being the only one who was insulted.
“I beg your finest fucking pardon?! You think that’s any way to talk to Marvel Jesus and his very hairy disciple here!?”
Logan gave Wade another unamused glare.
“Y’know what?”
Wade then swiftly grabbed you again.
“Give ‘em the whiskers, Peanut!”
“They’re not whiskers, they’re muttonchops, you dumb fuck.”
“Same thing! Or shall I pull the move and do a much better job as always?”
The older man snarled, lowering his head down.
“I’ll show you who does it better, asshole
”
“Okay, wait, wahait-! W-What mohove is thiHIHIS-?!”
You cut yourself off with yet another shriek as Logan suddenly blew a giant raspberry right against your stomach, the added sensations that his facial hair provided making you near silent laughter.
It was clear that Logan was basically taking out all his pent up annoyance at Wade on you, and good god it tickled super bad.
And Wade? He was being no help either, as usual.
“Awww, wook at the giggwy wittle baby! Are the Badger Berries making their tummy all tickly? And are they having the time of their life? Yes, they are! Yes, they aaare!”

Asshole. (Even if he was right.)
You did pride yourself on lasting about five raspberries (Wade could only ever really handle two), but you eventually had to tap your hand against one of Wade’s arms that were still hooked under yours.
“Okahay, Logan. Give em a rest.”
Despite his annoyed hesitance, Logan leant back up, allowing you to get your breath back in shaky pants.
“Geheez
 you twoho are juhuhust..!”
“We’re waiting, kid.”
The older man interrupted, giving you a playful but threatening look.
“Fihine
 I-I’m sohorry..!” You sighed, your face red as anything as you blinked away little tears that had pricked in the corners of your eyes.
“There we go! That wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Wade teased, resting his chin on your shoulder, in which you just rolled your eyes.
“Anyway, we better get ready for round two, huh?”

Uh oh.
“WHAT?! B-Buhut I apologised!”
Wade did a pretend ‘apologetic asshole’ wince.
“Yeah
 but this attack was more only to get you to apologise. This one is to actually teach you a lesson!”
“But thahat’s bullshit-!”
“Well, it’s a good thing we don’t give a fuck.”
Logan shared a look of pure mischief with Wade.
“Let’s gettem.”
And just like that, you were screaming and laughing the apartment down once more, as Logan nuzzled his furry face right into your belly again, pretending to eat it and growling playfully while Wade wrapped his arms around you and blew a raspberry right into the crook of your neck.
Yeah
 you were gonna be here for a while.
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grandisknight · 2 months ago
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kinktober in deepspace masterlist ! ☆
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➾ welcome to my attempt of kinktober for love and deepspace! please mind the individual chapter tags, all are STC/be updated along the way
➾ [ao3 version here] | dividers from cafekitsune
➾ a/n: i cannot pinky promise i can complete everything in a month (31 days is very daunting... lol...) and it's my first time, but i won't knock it till i try it ;; will be mostly with the LIs, though i'll also try to incorporate the npcs down the line! this is just for funsies and may be ooc at times but i hope you enjoy ₍ ᐱ.ˬ.ᐱ₎
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(i) good morning-night (xavier) [🔞 | somno, dubcon]
‷ Xavier wakes up in the middle of the night and handles the dilemma sleeping beside him.
(ii) dots and dashes (sylus) [🔞 | vibrator]
‷ Sylus gives insight into one of the many languages he's well-versed in.
(iii) afternoon treatment (zayne) [🔞 | medical/doctor kink]
‷ Zayne follows the "doctor's orders" in order to feel better.
(iv) at your service (rafayel) [🔞 | maid!rafayel, costumes]
‷ Gaining the upper hand in Kitty Cards has its benefits, which solely consist of making the loser (Rafayel) comply to the winner’s choice.
(v) kiss me through the phone (caleb) [🔞 | phone sex]
‷ You hit Caleb’s line one night, wondering how he’s been. Little did you know, you were about to find out all about it and more.
(vi) welcome to philo (jeremiah) [🔞 | exhibitionism]
‷ Jeremiah knows your flower order by heart, and you plan on repaying the favor in kind.
(vii) in bloom (xavier) | [🔞 | bday!xavier, sex pollen]
‷ You take Xavier to see the flowers of memories past, though something changes this time around.
(viii) tba
 [🔞]
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kwanisms · 1 month ago
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Kinktober 「10:13」 — w.junhui
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» seventeen menu | jun menu | kinktober masterlist «
➼ shapeshifter!Junhui × fem!Reader wc: 3k summary: Jun is a witch and has been practicing his shapeshifting. He’s excited to show Y/N his new trick which has an unintended reaction. genres/themes/au: angst/fluff/smut; supernatural, horror, thriller; non idol au, monster idol au warnings: adult dialogue, female reader, supernatural and horror themes, mentions of: witchcraft & magic; sexual content (18+ mdni), see smut warnings under the cut! taglist has been moved to reblogs join my taglists! kinktober taglist is CLOSED! Strikethrough means I cannot tag you.  MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED. AGELESS BLOGS WILL ALSO BE BLOCKED.
a/n: a special thank you to June and Jupiter for your help with the mechanics of this! I love you both muah muah. This came pretty easily and i’m not opposed to revisiting this couple in the future. We shall see. Thank you for reading! The next part is vampire!Wonwoo which will conclude week two of kinktober! as always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. 
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smut warnings: teratophilia (aka monsterfucking), mutual masturbation, voyeurism (f receiving, m receiving), use of pet names (bao bei, babe, etc.), unprotected sex (but reader is on birth control), soft dom!Jun, switch!Reader, non-human genitalia (Jun can shapeshift all parts of him, including his dick lol), cum inside, dirty talk, it’s pretty simple but if I missed something let me know! kinks: Mutual masturbation + voyeurism dialogue prompt: ❛❛ Lay back and touch yourself, I’m going to watch. ❜❜
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When Jun first started learning witchcraft and practicing, he was most excited about shifting. Being able to turn into anyone or anything was the most fascinating and exciting part of magic for him. He’d worked his way up from changing his hair color and facial features until he was able to start shifting into entirely different creatures. The first time he swapped his ears for dog ears he was beyond excited.
Of course, he had rushed at the opportunity to show you, his best friend.
Ever since then, he always came to you to show you his newest tricks, no matter how big or small. In the beginning, you showed as much enthusiasm as he did but over time, most of his tricks were the same and while you were happy he was excited, you didn’t exhibit the same enthusiasm anymore. Something Jun noticed as he stood in front of your bed.
He had just shifted into a blob-like creature, translucent green in color. It was impressive as he’d never managed to get the translucence consistency correct. “Oh neat,” you said as he shifted back, getting up off the floor. “You’ve never gotten the translucence down before. It looks believable!” you added encouragingly.
“And check this one out!” he said, giving you a smirk. You watched with mild amusement as he transformed into a hulking form covered in gray fur, a mass of muscles under his skin. He panted heavily, drool hanging from sharp teeth as yellow eyes stared at you. The pointed ears on top of his head flicked in the direction of different sounds.
“A werewolf?” you asked, holding back a smirk. “You’ve shown me this one before,” you told him, picking up your phone and scrolling through your feed. His brows seemed to furrow in disappointment, the ears laying back against his head. “But look!” he pouted, his voice the exact same.
You raised your eyes as he turned, showing you a large bushy tail that curled up towards his back. “I couldn’t get the tail down before!” he explained. You chuckled, returning to your phone. “Very cute,” you said as you resumed scrolling. Jun let out a low huff and growl before shifting back to his human form.
“Fine, what about this?” he asked, making you look up as he transformed again, his body elongating as scales erupted all over his skin. The lower half of his body transformed into a snake-like body, his torso staying mostly the same except for the scales on his sides and shoulders. His eyes were very viper-like, bright orange with vertical slits. He opened his mouth, a soft hiss escaping as a forked tongue peeked out.
“You’ve shown me that one, too,” you replied. “You usually go for the venomous snakes,” you added. “I’ve never seen you do a constrictor.” Jun’s shoulders slumped as you returned your focus once again to the device in your hand. He changed back, adjusting his shirt and pulled his jacket off, tossing it on the end of the bed.
“Alright,” he said softly. “What about this?”
You looked up, unamused at his antics as he changed again, into a towering figure with a vaguely humanoid shape. He wore a black suit, skin white and massive tentacles writhing from his back. “Slenderman?” you asked, sounding unimpressed yet again.
“Come on, man,” you whined. “I’ve seen all of these before!”
One of the tentacles shot out, wrapping around your ankle but you barely flinched. “Get your slimy tentacle off me before I cut it off and feed it to my cat,” you said without looking up. The tentacle retracted slowly, wiggling off the bed as they all returned to his body and he changed back into his human form. “Seriously?” he asked, running his fingers through his hair frustratedly.
“I’ve seen all these before!” you countered. “You haven’t shown me something new in a long time.”
Jun stared at you, wracking his brain as you scrolled through your phone. An idea popped into his head. He shifted again, a pair of brown cat ears poking up from his hair as a brown tail sprouted from his back, sneaking down the back of his shorts.
“What about this?” he asked, making you look up.
Your eyes met his and a smile spread across your face. “Oh, how cute,” you said as he crawled onto the bed. “A tail too?” you asked as he sat back on his heels, showing off the tail. “Yeah!” he said. “It’s not entirely impressive,” he said. “But normally I do entire body transformations to wow you,” he said. “It’s not every day I do these small ones.”
You chuckled as you leaned forward, reaching up to scratch one of the ears. Jun leaned into your touch, a purr rumbling from his throat. “Cute,” you said again as you reached out to allow the tail to slide through your palm. “What if I change into a werecat!” he said suddenly and moved to get up but you were tired of him constantly changing and just wanted to hang out with your best friend.
You hadn’t meant to pull his tail but your hand closed around it and you tugged lightly. Jun let out a moan and you stared at him, eyes wide as his own wide eyes met yours. Silence fell over you as you stared at one another trying to figure out what just happened.
“What was that?” you asked softly. Jun’s cheeks flushed as he tried to snatch the tail away but you pulled again, another moan slipping past his lips. “Oh,” you said, your mouth forming a perfect circle. A smirk took over as you tugged again, the moan even louder. “S-stop!” he stammered, grabbing the tail from you and glaring as he changed back, the cat ears turning back into his human ones and the tail shrinking until it disappeared.
Your eyes followed the tail as it retracted into his loose shorts and it was then you could see the outline of his semi-hard cock. Your eyes continued up, meeting his gaze. “Enjoyed that a little too much, did you?” you asked. Jun glanced down at his crotch and quickly grabbed one of your plushies, using it to cover his lap. You let out an indignant noise, snatching the plushie from him.
“NOT MR. SNUFFLES!” you shouted, taking the elephant from him and glaring at him. “You pervert!” Jun glared at you. “You’re the one who looked!” he retorted, trying to cover himself with his hands. “Not my fault,” you said as you leaned back against your pillows. “Your shorts don’t exactly keep things contained. Are you even wearing underwear?”
Jun glared at you. “Now who’s the pervert?!” he asked, cheeks turning even redder. You shrugged as you lifted Mr. Snuffles to look at him before tossing him off the bed with the pile of your other plushies. “I’m not wearing any underwear,” you added as if you were discussing the weather.
Jun felt his cock twitch in his shorts. He was wearing underwear but now he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you were not. “Wh-why did you tell me that?” he asked, turning his head to look at the pile of stuffed animals that lay on the floor in the corner of your room, their lifeless black glass eyes staring back at him.
“Can you change your dick?” you asked suddenly, making him choke on his own spit. He turned to look at you, finding your curious eyes staring back at him. “Wh-what?!” he asked incredulously. You rolled your eyes before asking again.
“When you transform into, like, a werewolf or even that cat hybrid, does your dick change too?” Jun stared back at you in awe of not only your confidence but your audacity. “N-no,” he answered, shaking his head. You clicked your tongue in disappointment, picking up your phone.
“I mean,” he started, gulping. “I’ve never purposefully done it.” You glanced up at him. “I-I could try.” A smile spread across your face. “Would you show me if you did?” you asked. Jun couldn’t believe his ears. You, his best friend, was asking him to show him shapeshifting his cock.
He glanced down at his crotch briefly before looking back up, eyes scanning over your shorts.
“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” he said suddenly, catching you off guard. “I can’t shapeshift,” you said in return. Jun merely shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna see. If I’m gonna show you my dick, you gotta give me something in return.”
You stared at him, considering your options. When you took too long to answer, he was afraid he’d crossed a line but then you locked your phone, setting it aside as you got up onto your knees. “Okay,” you answered, pushing down your shorts and sitting back to kick them off, keeping your legs closed and your pussy hidden from view.
“Show me,” Jun ordered and you let out a giggle, shaking your head. “You first.” Jun narrowed his eyes before he got up, pushing his shorts and underwear down in one motion, his cock springing free as he let the material fall to the floor. He stepped out of it as your eyes followed his cock.
It wasn’t what you were expecting. It was a good five or six inches in length, maybe about five in girth. The shaft was a lighter tone of his skin, like his skin was in the winter when he didn’t go outside, the head was a darker peach, a small bead of precum already forming at the slit.
He sat back down. “Alright,” he said, drawing your attention from his cock. “Your turn.”
A smile crossed your face as you parted your knees, giving him a direct view of your cunt. Jun let out a strained noise that sounded like a cross between a groan and a gasp. His eyes continued to look, drinking in every detail. “Spread,” he said simply. You hesitated, tilting your head to the side before you obliged, spreading your feet on your bed, knees bent as you slid a hand down and spread your folds, giving him a view of your very wet pussy.
His lips parted slightly as he stared, taking in even more detail. His thoughts were interrupted as you let out a giggle, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you watched him. “Like what you see?” you asked in a low breathy voice. Jun swallowed the lump in his throat but said nothing. He wanted so desperately to touch you, curl his fingers into the plush of your thighs as he tasted you, as he sank his cock into you and fucked you against your pillows.
“So can you make your dick change?” you asked, drawing him from his thoughts. He looked up to meet your gaze. “What would you like to see?” You pondered his question for a moment before giving him a devilish smile. “What would it look like if you transformed into a werewolf?”
Jun licked his lips before focusing his attention transforming only his cock. You watched as the color and shape changed before your eyes. The head became more pointed as the entire thing turned reddish, two knots forming a bulbous base. “A knot, huh?” you asked, giving him a smirk, one of your brows raising.
“I mean,” he started, glancing down at it. “Wolves are canines,” he continued. “And dogs have very distinct genitals.” He glanced back up, noticing that your fingers were playing with your clit slowly. “Are.. are you touching yourself?” he asked, eyes widening. “Why?” you asked. “Do you want me to stop?” you asked, fingers stilling.
“N-no,” he said softly. “Keep going.”
You resumed moving, your fingers dipping down to your slit only to drag back up, spreading your folds so he could see your wet hole. “What else can you change it into?” you asked, nodding towards his cock. He glanced down and back up. “What else do you want to see?”
“Hmm,” you hummed as your legs spread more, giving him a better view of you playing with your pussy. “Surprise me.” Jun glanced down, watching as the pointed head changed, flaring out as the shaft grew, a thick ring forming in the middle. Your eyes widened. “Horse?” you asked. Jun looked up at you, letting out a low groan as your fingers sank into your heat. “That’s not fair,” he whined.
You let out a giggle, nodding towards his cock. “No one said you couldn’t touch yourself,” you reminded him. He glanced down at the transformed cock. “I’d rather have something else wrapped around it,” he murmured. You let out a giggle. “Touch yourself first and I’ll let you fuck me,” you retorted. Jun met your gaze. “Are you serious?” he asked, excitement bubbling in his chest. “Yes,” you answered. “But you have to touch yourself first. Until I say so.”
“Fine,” he answered, quickly grabbing the back of his shirt and removing it. “But you have to take the rest of your clothes off.” You did as he said, withdrawing your fingers long enough to pull your top off and toss it aside, revealing your bare chest to him.
Jun leaned back, resting his hand on the bed behind him as he wrapped his fingers around the base of his shaft. “Now,” he said as you stared back at him. “Lay back and touch yourself. I’m going to watch.” You leaned back against the pillows, spreading your legs so he had an unobstructed view of your cunt, fingers spreading your folds for him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, hand working up and down the thick shaft of his transformed cock. “What I wouldn’t give for a taste,” he said as he watched you play with yourself. “Sink your fingers in that pretty cunt again. I want you to touch yourself with both hands. Play with your tits, yeah?” he ordered, hand moving up and down slowly.
Your free hand found purchase on your breast, squeezing and kneading as you sank your fingers into your heat, letting out a satisfied groan as you started to slowly pump them in and out of you. You kept your eyes on Jun’s face but every so often, you’d glance down at the horse cock. You wanted him to fill you with it, wondering if it changed the amount of cum he produced.
As you stared at it, Jun let out a chuckle. Before your eyes, his cock changed again. This time it changed to a bright blue, the head of his cock elongating to a point while ridges appeared along the shaft, a thick vein appearing on the underside. You wanted so badly to have him shove all of it inside you. “What’s that?” you asked breathlessly. He shrugged. “No idea,” he answered.
“I made it up.”
You let out a moan, walls clenching around your fingers as you threw your head back against the pillows.
“You want it inside you?” he asked, a surge of confidence as his hand moved faster along his cock. “Yes,” you gasped. “God yes, Jun!” Your hand moved faster as you pinched your pert nipple, rolling the bud between your fingers, digging the heel of your hand into your clit as your hips started to buck.
“Yeah, babe?” Jun asked breathlessly, his own hips starting to buck as his cock changed again into a more human-like one. “Want me to fill that tight little hole? Fuck you like you deserve?” You let out another moan, back arching. “Yes! Please! I want you inside me so bad, Junnie,” you whimpered. Jun let out a groan as he felt his cock twitch in his hand. He was losing control of his transformations as his climax neared. “Would you let me cum inside you?” he asked suddenly.
You nodded eagerly. “Yes,” you gasped. “I’m on birth control!” Jun let out a groan. “Fuck, M’gonna cum,” he groaned as your own orgasm came even closer. “I’m close, Junnie,” you whined. “I need m-more. N-need your cock!”
Jun stifled a moan, hips bucking up as he fucked his hand. He wanted to be inside you so bad but he couldn’t bring himself to move. “C-can you move?” he asked in a breathy voice. “Wh-what?” you asked. “Come here,” he said quickly. “Come sit on it or I’ll make a mess all over your nice clean bed.”
You scrambled up, quickly crawling over to him and straddling his hips as he held his cock still. You slowly sank down on him, both of you moaning in unison as his cock stretched your walls. “F-fuck,” he said with a tremble in his voice. You started moving quickly, bouncing on his cock as his hands grabbed your waist. “Change,” you said simply.
“What?” he asked, looking up at you as rode him, breast bouncing in his face. “Turn into that cat boy, quick,” you moaned, hands finding purchase on his shoulders. Jun obliged, the ears and tail returning. “Come on, bao bei,” he groaned, urging you on, his thumb moving to your clit. “Cum for me.”
You let out a cry of pleasure as your orgasm washed over you, your body shaking as you sank on Jun’s cock, taking all of it in you. As your walls spasmed around him, he bucked up, releasing inside you with a moan as his head fell forward onto your chest, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pumped you full of his cum.
You let out one final moan as you wrapped your arms around his neck, combing your fingers through his hair, the cat ears twitching and flicking as his cum spilled out of your hole around his cock and dripped down onto the inside of his thighs and the sheets under him.
You tried to regain your breath as you stroked his hair, gently rubbing the base of his cat ears. A gentle purr sounded from his throat, making you giggle. He nuzzled further into your bare chest, you felt his purring vibrate against you soothingly.
“M’tired,” he murmured and you scoffed. “You barely did anything!” you admonished as he giggled against your skin. “Well,” he continued, pulling back to look up at you, blinking softly. “Give me like five minutes and I’ll show you what I can do.” You took his face in your hands and leaned down to press your lips against his. 
“Use that horse cock from earlier and you got yourself a deal, catboy.”
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danandfuckingjonlmao · 4 months ago
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ok some things i LIKED about tua 4 since we all have talked exclusively about what we hated (SPOILERS AHEAD):
idc what anyone says the baby shark bit was iconic every time it came on i jammed
klaus had a comic book storyline from hotel oblivion!! let’s go source material!!
diego and luther being himbos
allison and klaus friendship
the entire birthday party scene was hilarious and fun and so THEM ok
the road trip scene that was in the trailer such iconic sibling goofy clownery they’re fucking idiots
klaus. he was in it. any time i get to see my little freak is time well spent.
incredibly unpopular opinion but i liked the ending i think they need an end from the cycle of apocalypses and suffering like they deserve a rest they’ve earned it and it was sweet that they all went together and the “i love you guys


but you’re all such fucking assholes” and then “fuck you” and everyone laughing and crying and THEN AND THEN ALL THE CHARACTERS FROM THE VARIOUS SEASONS BEING AT THE END i was SOBBING
klaus having a podcast of himself giving himself affirmations like that’s so funny
they actually gave somewhat of a shit about each other like diego was so DAD my babies have grown up but not too much they’re still fucking toddlers
lila is so pretty and funny and hot and unhinged she means so much to me
lila and klaus friendship!! lila and allison!! bonding!!
gene and jean were SUCH classic umbrella academy characters. loved them.
viktor gets all the pussy
i cannot stress how much all of the group scenes were so fucking sibling i love them ok
NO LUTHER AND ALLISON INCEST THANK FUCK
THUNDERBOLT THE GHOST DOG <3<3<3
klaus and claire oh my god i love uncle klaus so much and he loves her so much
seeing sober klaus and how hard he tried and then the heartbreak when that went away because he’s KLAUS he’s gerard way’s trauma self insert. as much as i want klaus to be safe and content and free from all this bullshit it was just so consistent and i can appreciate that. and i cried like a little bitch it was truly devastating but it was just sooooo klaus. also getting to see him make it incredibly clear that he didn’t want his powers back—him being the ONLY ONE who didn’t want his powers back—was important to me idk. and he was LOVED like he has a family!! he is cared for!! ahhHHHHHH!! love it
claire was great and getting to see her and allison and their tumultuous relationship and their love for each other after all of these seasons of allison looking for her and just wanting to be with her daughter
klaus got dave’s dog tags <3
more flashbacks to brellie kids!!
getting answers to some series-long mysteries
the underground subway system between timelines was so fucking cool and mindfucky 100/10
klaus’s look being reminiscent of s1 sorry that was my favourite klaus look ok
their sort of evolved powers when they got them back
so many good one liners and comedic scenes
ben being a crypto bro is SO FUNNY
will add stuff as i think of it. this is incredibly out of character for me i am an eternal pessimist but i did enjoy s4 (mostly because, as an eternal pessimist, my expectations are always low) so here we are.
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thedevilspearl · 1 year ago
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The brothers unintentionally finding out Mc has a secret porn account where they upload videos of themselves with different people(OR DIFFERENT DEMONS >UO)/relieving themselves
finding out mc has onlydevils — all brothers
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a/n: if you didn’t realise, onlydevils is the devildom version of onlyfans lol i tried to be creative but that’s the best i could do. thank you for this idea anon, i absolutely love it!!!
tags: no gender specified, no explicit smut but consistent discussion of mature content so minors do not interact!
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𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 would be the most surprised and probably the most avoidant after finding out. he’s not the happiest about it, but it’s also not the end of his world. he knows you have your reason to do it so he doesn’t pry. but he is interested and would make an undercover burner account to see what all the fuss is about. and oh man, you take his breath away. late nights in his office always end up with him making a mess of himself at his desk after watching your videos for hours. he would confront you about it after he’s had his fun (which would last months) and would only ever ask you to stop if your relationship became serious, as in, endgame.
the first words out of 𝐌𝐀𝐌𝐌𝐎𝐍’s mouth would be “what the hell are ya doing it for? stop it! ain’t nobody gotta see ya doing all that!” this doesn’t come from a place of trying to control you, but rather, it’s entirely out of jealousy and his instinctual need to protect you, even if it doesn’t come out the right way. of course, if you’re persistent in wanting to continue, he won’t stop you. however, it deeply upsets him knowing others see you in your most intimate act, and some even take part in it. he doesn’t know how to act, or react, and it would require a lot of time and conversation to understand it all and bring his feelings to a conclusion. but he wouldn’t be opposed to taking part in the content with you. he knows exactly how to make hotter content.
𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 is sort of stuck in the middle. he is definitely surprised but he’s also not surprised because you truly are something else. he knew that from the beginning. but this is different. you would never expect him to find out about it, let alone confront you. but he would be the first to let you know that he knows. and he hopes that none of his brothers know so that it can be your dirty little secret. he would never take part in your content, but he would surely give suggestions and feedback to help you improve. he’d maybe slip in some suggestions secretly catered to his own tastes, but you’d realise straight away and film an entire video just for him. his criticisms are worth a lot and so is his attention to detail in your content.
power to the people, is what 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐍 likes to say. upon finding out, he was taken aback by many feelings but in the end, he was impressed. he is definitely irked seeing you film content with other people, other demons, some of those are people he knows. and he cannot stand it because he wishes to be the only one to see you like that, to do those things with you. he’d let you do your thing but if things ever became serious between you, he’d want some boundaries in place. and if you want to continue, he would certainly become your new partner. he’d never show his face but he’d have no qualms showing your viewers how to please you better than anyone you ever had.
believe it or not, 𝐀𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐔𝐒 would be one of the last to find out because it’s something he would never expect to stumble across. in fact, you kept on the lowdown so well that he never would have known had you not accidentally slipped up. he asked if you were free one night and you casually said “sorry, asmo, but i’m busy filming content tonight” and so began his hunt in finding out what exactly it is that you film, and he hits the gold mine. as soon as he does, he’s all up in your business wanting to know everything, and he most certainly wants to take part. screw all those other demons. you could make millions together, if that’s what you want. he’d become a most loyal and devoted partner.
𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐙𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐁 was just looking for something to get him going. it was a rough day at practise and his usual hunger was taken over by a hunger for pleasure. and upon looking for some content, he came across a certain trending human. he didn’t think it would be you. it had to be someone else. but when he clicked on a video after purchasing it
.well, his cock grew and hardened faster than it ever did before, simply from seeing you touch yourself in in front of a camera, making eye contact with him through a screen and moaning so sweetly. he instantly becomes a loyal follower. but beel unintentionally found your account, so he would never intentionally confront you about it. he’d wait for you to open up, and he’d support your every decision.
𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐆𝐎𝐑 isn’t proud of how he stumbled upon your account. to be honest, he didn’t have an onlydevils account until one day, he was super horny and used beel’s account to watch some stuff. little did he know, beel had been watching his precious human doing all sorts of dirty things and that’s how he discovered it. so he quickly makes his own account and blows all of his money on your content, watching you go from pleasuring yourself with toys to getting lain into by some other demon. he’d wish for you to stop if you got serious with him, but other than that, your videos become the only thing he can use to get off, and soon he craves the real thing more and more.
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going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 8 months ago
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Three. Four. Five. || Toxic!Husband!Price
For @glitterypirateduck's “O, Captain!” writing challenge! I used prompts:
30. "I hate you but if anything happened to you I'd burn the world" vibe.;
42. The story spans over a period of 10 or more years;
78. Give us a "That's my Wife!" moment.
Rating: E Words: 3.3K cw: toxic couple, VERY toxic, insults, death wishes, smut fade to black, pregnancy. Tags: f!reader, you/your pronouns but no Y/N, miilitary/court martial inaccuracies, very bad family dynamics?, dark humour??. Summary: John and Reader are in the worst fucking marriage ever. A collection of moments, dialogues and scenes from their terrible relationship. a/n: They are SO fucking toxic and dumb, I cannot- This is also very different from the stuff I usually write. This is ALSO not particularly angsty, more so dark humour.
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There was a time when you loved John Price.
With all your heart, all your soul (and all your pussy).
That time was when you were young.
Ages 14 to 21, you loved him. He was your first kiss, your first time. High school sweethearts, you supported him through the academy, he supported you when you went to university. 
You stayed together through his first and second deployments. It was like an old-timey WW2 romance. 
So many letters exchanged back and forth. All lovey-dovey, with faint pen ink and smudged blotches on the pages as you made plans for the future.
Phone calls with spotty service and loads of static, only five minutes per soldier, 5 minutes which he’d spend only ever spend talking to you, asking you to relay any other messages to his mum, dad, siblings so he wouldn’t have to hang up with you. 
Polaroids clipped on the inside of envelopes which he would then slip into the breast pocket of his shirt, keeping you over his heart
 one he’d often pull out and look at during transpo, thumbs tracing your eternal smile.
Polaroids of yours, a bit more risqué, which he would keep tucked into a journal under his pillow, for his eyes only.
John would walk around overseas with a smile on his lips after getting a letter or a call from you, brag to his teammates about his “bird back home”, never going out to bars to find one night stands like they did

But sometime after his second deployment and joining the SAS, the puppy love that had lasted for years started to dwindle. 
Slowly but surely, you found that you were both growing distant.
You assumed you were both growing a bit ‘comfortable’, perhaps complacent
 like all relationships tend to get after a while. 
By that time, John and you had already moved in together and you were no longer consistently alone for months at a time waiting for him to return from deployment. You blamed it on that. Plus, you’d been together for years by then!
But it felt different. There was distance, emotional and physical. Whenever he cuddled up to you, you felt cold and so did he. The kisses to your forehead were meaningless, the dinners at home eerily silent.
And between the distance and the inability to make proper plans, proper dates, celebrate milestones together, forgotten anniversaries, overlooked birthdays
 It turned into arguments. 
And one argument turned to three, to five, to seven
 hundred.
You found yourself growing bitter, angry, hateful.
It wasn’t a sudden shift or anything.
Not like you woke up one day and the one thought in your head was “I hate him”...
But you remember hating him longer than you ever loved him.
You tried breaking up. And failed. 
Some
 bastardised feeling of guilt came to the forefront of both your minds at the idea of throwing away 5 6 7 8 9 10 years together, and giving up on your first love
 and maybe even fear of having to start anew with someone else.
So, you simply continued going through the motions. You got engaged, big shiny rock on your finger, all big smile, but no tears came when he proposed. Your families were ecstatic, not quite able to see through the thinly veiled deceit.
For the wedding, you pulled out all the stops, stressed yourself out preparing the ceremony and reception with the women in your family (and his! His mother and sister were so happy that John was getting married!), going wedding dress shopping

You had a beautiful ceremony, John wearing his full dress suit, army green, with the beige SAS beret. You were both 27, and together for 13 years.
Then, came the honeymoon, which was cut short. Not that it was a true honeymoon. Just three days in a coastal town in Northern France, having to be within a day's drive of Hereford lest he get called out for a sudden mission, which he was.
Not that you expected any different from him. So the distance continued growing, as did the arguments.
You hated him. He hated you.
Then came the predictable “So, when can we expect some grandkids?”. You put it off for a couple more years, blaming it on your high-priority careers, the law and the military, so similar and so different; his lack of time at home and how regrettable it’d be for you to be alone through the pregnancy; the want to be ‘more present’ for the future kids, needing to wait for things to settle down a bit more

You’d been together for so long at that point, 15 years under your belt, starkly aware that neither of you is going anywhere. The world keeps spinning and your relationship hasn't ended. Fuck it, might as well go for it.
And now here you are.
It’s been eighteen years since you met. Aged 32, you no longer have arguments, you have throwdowns. You pull out every weapon in your arsenal. Neither of you plays nice.
Insults are traded often. Death wishes even more so. And, more often than not, they’re delivered with such a deadpan nonchalance that you’re sure people would think you both psychopaths.
“Going on a mission. ‘ll be back in a few days.”
“‘Kay, hope you die.”
“So do I.”
-
“Just had a fender bender with a stupid bloke. The car’s at the shop. Taking an uber to the base to get your car.”
“Okay. Shame you didn’t die a fiery death.”
“Don’t remind me, already cried about it.”
-
"I'm getting discharged."
"Why?"
"Shot."
"And it couldn't have killed you?"
-
“Can you get out of the damn toilet? I’m bleeding.”
“Period, accident, or just part of your satanic rituals?”
“Period.”
“Tough luck. Hope you bleed out.”
It never gets physical, never violent. John would rather die than lay a hand on you and you’d never DARE lay one on him. It’s just a lot of yelling, a lot of insulting, a lot of throwing things around, and, especially, a lot of revenge plans being executed to drive each other crazy.
Like recently. You found out John had gotten a grey-haired wig about the same length and texture as your hair, and has been snipping off a few hairs at a time, planting them around the house to blame you for leaving your hair everywhere, while simultaneously making you feel like you’re going grey. So, you put grey hair box dye in his shampoo and beard oil, to make him think he’s going grey.
Or three months ago, when you replaced all your lightbulbs with dimmer ones and lowered the brightness on all electronics, to make him think his eyesight was starting to go bad. You drove him so mad that he had voluntarily signed up for sniper assessments because he was worried he’d become a liability for the team.
Or eight months ago, when John had to return home in the middle of the day wearing a ruined uniform and just about ready to blow smoke out of his ears, having ripped holes in the uniform midway through a meeting all because 2 or so weeks prior you had painstakingly undone part of the stitching on it after an argument, and that had resulted in him baring his hairy thighs and armpits to a boardroom full of officers.
It’s bad. Very bad. You’ve had your windows and doors insulated to make sure the neighbors don’t hear your screaming matches and call the cops on the “domestic violence” happening next door. 
You probably shouldn’t have kids with this man. And yet-
He drives you insane.
And you’ve TRIED to fix it! You did. Marriage counseling, rage rooms, axe-throwing, paintball matches, yoga, meditation.
 Nothing worked! In fact, it only infuriated you more because:
“You’ve got a tactical advantage, you need to play with a handicap!”
“Tough luck, sweetheart. Get good or get shot!”.
-
“You can throw harder than that.”
“Oh, I’ll show ya throwing hard, you gobshite!”
“Okay, when are you planning to start?”
-
“My back hurts-”
“Because you’re getting old.”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m just telling you the truth. Face it, John, if the downward dog hurts your back, then you’re old.”
-
“Can you breathe any louder?”
“Yes, I can. Wanna see?”
“Just shut up. I can’t hear myself think.”
“Not much to hear either way, pretty hollow in there.”
“I hate you.”
“Feeling’s mutual, sweetness.”
There are only three occasions when you’re not actively at each other’s throats. Other, then, of course, when John’s working, especially when he’s overseas. You can’t fight if he’s both a) not home and b) unreachable via calls or texts or e-mails.
When you need a favor from the other, something you can’t quite do, or that falls in the other’s ‘jurisdiction’ in house chores.
“The washing machine’s leaking.”
“Turn off the water main, I’ll go check in a sec.”
“Mkay.”
-
“Here. Popped a button.”
“I don’t have any more army green thread.”
“Then use brown or black or whatever.”
-
“Where are your car keys?”
“What for?”
“Going to get it washed and detailed.”
“My purse.”
-
“You’re not gonna wear that, are you?”
“Why?”
“Besides the fact that it’s wrinkly? That’s a ‘house’ shirt, not a ‘going out’ shirt. Wear this one instead.”
2. When you’re both complaining or dealing with an outside force, a 3rd party, together.
"Excuse me, hi, I'm sending this back it's not cooked the way I asked."
"Ma'am that's exactly what you-"
"Are you calling my wife a liar?"
-
“Oh, fuck no. Why the fuck is he winning the Great British Bake Off?"
"Hm? Oh- oh! Yeah, why the fuck is he winning?"
“Bloody hell, he rolled his pastry too thin and had watery pie filling-”
“Wankers. This is not fair.”
-
“John. John!”
“What?”
“Look-”
“Blood hell, he’s back early-”
“Yeah and her boytoy’s car still there. They’re definitely still going at it.”
“Oh, this is going to be fun.”
-
“Excuse me! Hey, excuse me! Pick up after your bloody dog! NO, don’t you start with me, you keep leaving your dog’s shite right by our garden, don’t you see the sign my husband’s posted up?! Pick it up or I’ll do it and then drop it in your garden.”
3. During sex.
Marching into the bedroom after breakfast, you find John combing through his hair in the bathroom mirror. The room is steamy from the hot shower he just took. 
“Take your trousers off. I’m ovulating.” You warn him as you wave your phone in the air, showing off the period tracking app.
“I literally just showered.” John replies as you’re already shrugging off your robe and pajamas.
“Well, believe or not, I don’t control my ovaries, John.” You reply. “Now take your trousers off.”
“Already on it.” He replies as he already starts taking off his shirt and sweatpants, leaving them on a pile on the floor, before his boxer briefs follow suit.
His hand palms his cock as you’re getting comfortable on the bed, tugging on it lightly as he watches your fingers do the same between your legs. 
“Can we try to enjoy it this time?” He asks you in earnest.
“Sure.” You reply simply. “Been a while since we’ve had proper sex and not
”
“Not a breeding session?” He quips as he kneels on the bed between your parted thighs. His hand replaces yours and he starts rubbing your clit for you.
“Shut it
” You quip, while your own hand wraps around his cock, stroking it slowly. John lowers himself onto you and his lips slowly brush against yours before he kisses you.
No, as it turns out
 There are actually four occasions when you’re not actively at each other’s throats:
4. The Kid
In a day like any other, you’re lying in bed, reading a book. It’s a lazy Sunday morning, your big, round belly feeling particularly heavy. You’ve stolen every other pillow in the house to try and find some comfort, which you fail remarkably at.
“I think I’m going grey.” John states to no one in particular.
He’s in the en-suite bathroom, applying beard oil across his mutton chops like he tends to do, about three times a week.
“You are.” You remark in a bored, dismissive tone as you read a book in bed.
“That’s not funny. I’m not that old.”
“You’re getting up there.”
“Look who’s talking, we’re the same age.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Jonathan?”
“It means you’re there yourself, darling.”
Raising your eyes from the book in your hands, the bottom of which rests atop your pregnant belly, you cock a brow at your ‘beloved’ husband.
“And this is coming from Santa Claus?” You retort swiftly.
John peeks his head out of the bathroom door to look at you. “You think you’ve got a leg to stand on, you crone?”
Grunting under your breath, you glare at him, and he glares at you, complete silence in the bedroom. 
There’s something in that face of his, the look in his eyes, those STUPID fucking mutton chops that you’ve told him to shave and he refuses

Grabbing your book and rolling it into a cylinder, you hurl it at him, putting as much force behind your arm as you possibly can. It misses the mark, but only because he had the presence of mind to duck. 
“You’re such a fuckin’ knobhead!” You insult him, tongue dripping with bitterness.
“Wel, not like I can be anything else, really, when I’m married to such a raging cunt.” He retorts.
“OH FUCK YOU!” You retort.
“ALREADY AM MORE THAN FUCKED, SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU.”
“OH, PLEASE, YOU’RE MORE MARRIED TO YOUR BLOODY GUN THAN YOU ARE TO ME!”
“YEAH CAUSE AT LEAST MY GUN DOESN’T DRIVE ME FUCKING MENTAL!”
“OH PISS OFF!” You shout, your face twisting with a scowl.
“You know, you really shouldn’t be stressing yourself out like this. It’s not good for your blood pressure. Or for John Junior.”
“First of all, it’s not gonna be a boy. Secondly, even if it is a boy, we’re not naming him after you. And thirdly, how about you die, then I won’t get stressed.”
“And why would I do that, when I can stay right here, perfectly alive and healthy, and watch you give birth to John Junior, and have the pleasure of rubbing a ‘I told you so’ right in your face?”
“Oh fuck you. It’s not going to happen.” You sulk and cross your arms over your chest, leaning back against your mountain of pillows.
“Someone doesn’t like the idea of having a son that takes after me, hm??” John teases as he comes up to the bed, a brow cocked.
You trail him with your eyes as he sits next to you on the bed. “Absolutely not. I wanna have a child I actually am able to love, and not one that I have to lie to.”
“A mother’s love knows no bounds, huh? What a load of crap.” John quips.
“Oh, that’s 100% true. I love this baby to bits already, but if it takes after you
 I’ll probably die.”
“Good.” John remarks, causing you to roll your eyss. “Much better than if our child takes after you. Spawn of Satan, he would be.” John’s hand slides up your leg and slowly cups your swollen stomach.
“I should probably address the fact you just called our child ‘Satan’s spawn’, but I’m more concerned over the fact you keep calling the baby a ‘son’.” You murmur as you uncross your arms and watch him caress your skin.
“I feel like it’s a boy, I don’t know what to tell you.” He replies as his calloused fingers drag over the stretch marks and linea nigra on your stomach.
“What if it’s a girl?”
“What about it?”
“I’ve seen enough men online getting pissy over havin’ a daughter.” You quip and cock a brow up, looking him in the eyes.
John’s eyes lock onto yours. “Not me.” Then they return to the belly as he continues rubbing you. “Would love a little girl too.”
“Hm.” You remark and slowly, your hand rubs over the belly on the opposite side, where John’s hand isn’t. “We’ve gotta promise not to yell or argue in front of the baby.”
“Kind of hard to do that when I’m married to the Devil.” John quips, causing you to look up at him, eyes narrowed.
“You’ve gotta promise. We’ve gotta promise.” You murmur as you look at him.
For a moment, his usually grumpy face softens and he nods. “I promise.”
Nodding as well, you echo the sentiment. “I promise.”
No, wait, five:
5. When you have his back.
“General, that is not what I asked you. I would ask that you stop beating around the bush, feeding me, the jury, and the people watching at home, fabricated information and embellished words in a sorry attempt to save your credibility. Stick to the questions being asked and stop wasting our times.” You warned the man as you paced the space in front of the stand.
“Me and everyone else in this room are looking for nothing but the truth, or must I remind you that you are under oath and also live on television?” You ask outloud as you turn to look at him.
“No, counselor.” The General, a heavy-set, older, mustachioed man replies, through gritted teeth, his face showing a polite expression while the man himself was seething on the inside.
“Very well, then, I’ll repeat the question. Were you or were you not aware of the aforementioned, unsactioned operations being conducted in the Al-Mazarah and Urzikstan border, involving CIA and MI6 operatives?” You asked, eyes glaring into the man’s eyes as you leaned into the stand near him.
“Well, as with most operations...”
“A yes or no is enough, General.” You told him sternly.
“Yes.” The man grits out.
“And did you, or did you not, give permission for these CIA and MI6 operatives, working under the guise of NATO, and I quote, from the transcript: “Authority to use any means necessary” on the enemy forces?” You confronted him.
“Well-”
“Yes or no?”
“Yes.”
“And did you do that while being aware that the teams involved would interpret such command as permission to execute an operation in which they’d use ‘extreme physical persuasion’ or, in other words, torture to achieve their goals?”
“I-”
“Did you or did you not, General?”
“Yes, but-”
“And did you, or did you not, not only demand the censoring of the clear and transparent reports received in the aftermath of that operation but also sign off on them yourself, to circumvent the proper channels of evaluation, which would force an internal audit to be conducted?”
“Yes-”
“So, in short, you just confirmed that you authorized your troops to, essentially, wipe their asses with the Geneva convention and comit war crimes on the POWs under their care?”
“Counselor-” One of the judges called out.
“Withdrawn. No further questions, Mr. Chairman.” You told the Chairman and the jury panel that sat above you, as you swiftly turned around and marched up to your table, high heels clacking on the polished floors of the court room.
Your eyes locked onto John’s as he sat in the back of the room, wearing his full regalia, his eyes locked onto yours with a strange shine to them
 Almost like he’s proud of you.
As soon as you sit on the chair and the Chairman once again takes over, addressing the room, the General, calling other witnesses, your phone’s screen lights up on the chair next to you.
Picking it up quietly, you spot a message of John’s:
John: that’s my girl. knew you could do it. you: you owe me big time. John: i do. saved my arse there. you: of course. it’s what I’m here for.  John: almost making it sound like you love me. you: no but I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. you: no way in hell you’re leaving me alone with 3 children. John: i see. selfish woman. you: shut up.  you: and try not torturing POWs next time. John: yes, ma’am.
Five occasions seem to be enough to keep a 23-year marriage afloat.
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a/n: Big thanks to my beloved @crashtestbunny for helping draft/plot all these interactiions and just the general toxicity! And also @mothymunson your beloved Toxic!Price is here!
[ O, Captain! Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]
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boundbyeclipse · 13 days ago
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hiii can you write smut number 5 with current James????
black velvet
genre : smut
word count : 1227
tags : current!james, female!reader, age difference (not specified how much), reader is a tattoo artist, a little rough james, semi-public sex (i think?), that’s about it
from the prompt list : 5. “don’t cover your mouth. i wanna hear you”
a/n : sooo i saw a photo of James getting a tattoo done and i thought hey, that’s a perfect idea for one of my requests! it really stuck to me and i had to write it. i really hope you enjoy this one x
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‘Poison’ by Alice Cooper played in the background after you returned from your dinner break at work. You hummed along to the lyrics while lightly bopping your head to the beat. You absolutely loved rock and metal, so the playlist used at work always consisted of bands who did exactly those genres. It always gave you motivation and boosts for some energy, no matter if you were sad, angry or irritated.
While preparing for your next client, the sound of the entrance door opening and closing reached your ears. Technically, it was just a bit too early to show up, but hey, this one’s a regular and you didn’t mind at all.
“Hey there” you greeted him while putting some black gloves on your hands.
“Hey. Mind me showing up before I should?”
You gave him a warm smile, shaking your head left to right.
“Nope. You can come take a seat actually, I’ll go print out the tattoo and get more ink”
“Alright” James smiled back, hanging his jacket on the rack and making his way to the big, comfortable leather chair. He watched you walking around and you didn’t quite pay any attention to him, at least at first. Or, you just didn’t want to.
No matter how many times you’ve done tattoos on this man in the past few years, there has always been some sort of a tension between you both. It wasn’t anything like what you’ve had before with other men. They might have complimented you, made you smile, even blush, but none of them put you in such a vulnerable position with their presence alone. And there have been many times where his eyes would pierce right through you in the middle of getting his skin drawn on, creating the impression of him wanting to do some things to you. The lust was purely emitting from him the whole time. And you cannot forget about those moments when his fingertips would brush against your skin, making you shiver and think of scenarios in your head that were not so innocent. Sure, he was much older than you, but that didn’t stop either of you from craving each other every time.
Not too long after, you were already seated next to James, with his hand extended out as you were drawing lines on his skin.
My, oh my, did those large hands of his drove you insane.
“You got any more people coming after me?” he suddenly asked, his blue eyes hinting at something.
“Nope, you are the last one today. Puts my mind at ease knowing my last client is a regular. No need to overthink”
One side of his mouth curved up into a small smirk.
“Are you sure your mind is at ease? Because I can feel you’re all tensed up”
You swallowed and bit your lower lip hard after he said that. Trying to hide your growing frustration, you giggled.
“Maybe I am, I’ve been here since seven in the morning, you know”
He cocked an eyebrow up, not quite believing what you were saying. James could clearly see how you bit your lip, adjusted in your seat and giggled due to getting thrown back by his comment.
“It’s kind of easy to tell that it’s not because of the work. You don’t need to hide it”
Your breath hitched in your throat, and your body froze for a moment before you looked up at him and asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I know you secretly think about all the possible ways I could use my hands on you,” you could not believe what he just said, but it was totally true, “it’s written all over your face. Even your body language gives it away with how you shake, squirm in your seat, how you breathe heavier when I’m around. I know you think of me”
“James, don’t-“
“Just finish the tattoo first, then you can explain yourself”
Not even ten minutes later, you had your body pinned against the door of your break room, with no way to escape the tall man who hovered over you. His hands roamed your body while he kissed your neck, sucking on the sensitive spots to make you even weaker. The way he held you by your hip against the door made you so vulnerable and so turned on, that you could not help but moan into the heated kiss.
With one swift move, James opened the door behind you and the both of you walked backwards, still all over each other until the back of your calves hit the lounge couch that was in the room. James helped you with taking your shirt off, leaving you in a black lace bra. You sat down and watched James from below, eyes full of desperation and need, looking right into his own. He removed his shirt and tossed it away, unbuckling his jeans and unzipping them, then hovering above you as he laid you down slowly, but with rough kisses and a tight grip on your waist.
Your hand reached into his jeans and you cupped him through the fabric of his underwear, giving it a couple squeezes as James groaned in response. He was big, thick and hard, and you could feel yourself getting so wet that it started to hurt. You really needed him.
With no clothes left on your bodies, he was now inside you, moving his hips as he watched your face, loving the way your eyes rolled back with each thrust. The way your back arched, your naked bodies touching against each other, it put you in such a trance. Every second of it - you just loved.
With your moans becoming louder, you felt a little embarrassed, and your hand found its way to your mouth to silence yourself. But James wasn’t going to let you hide.
“Don’t cover your mouth. I wanna hear you”
Carefully, he took your hand and now had both of your hands pinned above your head. Your moans filled the room as you wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to feel every single inch of his length in you. Almost to the point where you could barely take it.
“I can’t- I can’t take it”
“Yes, you can. Just hang on for a little bit more for me, okay?”
You gave him a nod in response, eyes watery and lips parted as you breathed heavily, your high hitting you right then and there. It happened so quickly, that you could not even tell James that you were close.
Another moan slipped out of his mouth as you coated him in your juices, your walls pulsing whilst he was still inside you, able to feel everything.
“Almost there” he told you as he gave you his final thrusts before pulling out and cumming on your stomach. Both of you were panting, with small beads of sweat on your foreheads and hair all messed up. But as soon as you got your breathing back to normal, it was time to clean up and go home. Though, James just wasn’t quite keen on leaving you so soon.
“I’ll give you a ride back home, so don’t worry about taking a bus in this weather” he gave you a warm smile as he put his jacket on and waited for you at the entrance door.
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me-ahedalshaer · 2 months ago
Text
Very Important Update 😭💔
I hope that one of you will take over my campaign and lead me to my goal. I cannot find anyone to take over my campaign. Please contact me if you want questions or pictures. I hope that I will not be ignored, as is the case every time. One of you will take over my campaign and help me save my family.
I think my old account has been restricted and does not follow people or send notifications to anyone. So I did not give up and created a new account so that my voice could reach the free people of the world so that I and my family could be saved from genocide.
So for those who do not know me, I will write a simple introduction about myself and tag my old account
✹( @ahedalshaer )✹
my name is Ahed. I am a Dentist from Gaza, from Rafah Governorate specifically. I created this campaign to help my family during this war and get out of Gaza. We are a family consisting of 7 members, a father (naji), a mother(kawther), a sister (samah), and 3 brothers(jamal ,hamdan,and hamada). My father is diabetic and is very old, and you know that there is no treatment or medicine in Gaza due to the closure of the crossings. We were displaced to Mawasi Khan Yunis because of the threats on the city of Rafah, because my area where I live was considered a danger zone, and the Israeli army demolished our house. We were displaced and now we live in a tent, and the situation is very tragic. There is no water, electricity, or food there. In fact, our lives resemble the barren desert until there is no one there. Privacy at all. The bathroom is shared by everyone in the camp, and pollution and diseases are widespread.
‏We want to leave Gaza, my family and I, so that we can be safe, but there is a problem that travel costs are very high, such as a visa to travel to European countries. In order for a person to leave the Gaza Strip, he needs 5,000 dollars, which means that in order for my family and I to leave, we need approximately 35 thousand dollars, so I created a GoFound Me campaign. To help my family get out of Gaza. I hope that you will donate and help me, even if it is a small amount, so that I and my family can move to safety and help my father complete his treatment. I wish you happiness.
✹My Compaighn is vetted by:✹
-( @gaza-evacuation-funds as family #1 ) here
-Butterfly effect project line No 407 here👇👇
Please donate and share to your followers, encourage them to help and spread this on other social media. I cannot achieve this goal without you, please continue to advocate for me
@commissions4aid-international @ibtisams @appsa @turian @palestinegenocide @alivehealthy @queerstudiesnatural @palistani
@buttercuparry @burtlebabe @helppeople @neshamama @baguetttee @sar-soor @divinefeline28 @brutaliakhoa @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @komsomolka
@neptunerings @omegaversereloaded @omegomagnit @heritageposts @feluka @feluart @drangues @bijoux-et-mineraux @afro-elf
@dinodamage @yurischolar @lune-tic @lipid @witticaster @dvxm @captainstoneybaloney @jihyolegend
@scarletlich @rongzhi @marxistcomedy @goldenspirits @gabestricks @brambeag @yuumei-art @transmutationisms @velvetys @imjustheretotrytohelp @jezior0 @mansbutchery .
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